Men look. I get that. I look too. When I look at other attractive people, it has no affect on how I feel about my boyfriend. I'm still in love with him, I'm still attracted to him. But when he looks at other girls I feel AWFUL. All I see is everything I am not. He's absolutely not cheating on me and never would, I know that. But ugh, I hate that sick feeling I get in my stomach. 

My ex used to put down my appearance all the time, and he cheated on me several times. The ex before him cheated on me. The ex before him cheated on me. All of them were abusive, physically and emotionally. 

My boyfriend isn't abusive and he's transparent and honest with me. He's honest about the fact that he looks at porn sometimes, but I don't feel neglected sexually or anything. I look at it sometimes too, I'm not offended by that. I honestly feel like I'm projecting my issues into my otherwise healthy relationship. I'm happy with him. Very happy. He is my protector and cares for me. He doesn't put me down or manipulate me or try to control me. He is honestly a great match for me, he just lets me be me. So I want to let him be him, and that includes the fact that he sure does like checking out girls.

But ugh. All I see is everything I'm not. He tells me I'm sexy and beautiful and I know he's very attracted to me. I just want to feel better about myself. He and I are communicating all the time or with each other, I really have no reason to think he's messing around or anything - I just literally hate that he ever thinks anyone other than me is attractive haha