It is kinda difficult to find a SANITY group that is not addiction specific. Thank you for being here!

My name is Mandy. I have 3 children. Virginia age 20, Ben age 18, and Lily age 4. I had a discussion with Virginia the other day that set me in motion for a change. I decided to prepare myself and my family for an intervention with her entitlement. I already know my husband agreed,  I spoke with my 18 year old son, he agreed that something needed to change as well. But I had no idea where to start. I was very scared and I know my husband came I to this family not knowing what was ahead just as much as me. I searched on Amazon and found the perfect book.  Allison Bottke's Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children. I'm only halfway through,  at the support group section but it is exactly what I need to help me when I introduce to her the new rules. 

At first I thought "I dont want a support group" but I realized I didn't want to be in this position either and I am going to need it. So here I am. Also... since I "like to help" its probably better to help others that like to help...

So Virginia... she is sick. Not sure with what exactly but I'm positive that mentally she has made it all worse. She had panic attacks in high school that were disruptive to others and even homebound learning eventually became impossible.  She dropped out and has been living almost entirely in her room ever since. She refuses to get a driver's license even though she is a good driver, wont make her own phone calls even though she is 20 years old and had many mental and physical doctors she is quite upset if we do not make sure she sees, has a very picky appetite that causes us to be accused of neglect for not having food other than the food rotting that she insisted was the only thing she was capable of eating early but was left untouched, the list goes on. 

She has a court hearing for SSI on Thursday.  It is expected to go well.  I hope it does.  She does have legitimate reasons to need it. 

Afterward she is going with her father on a trip. When she gets back, no matter how SSI goes I plan to have a speech and list of new rules. 

I am nervous and excited and scared. A roller coaster is to come. Who know how it will go