To be totally honest, on page 237, I was quite triggered. To actually SEE in a writing I did not do, the words of my attackers, and the raw exposure of the evil, I was taken aback. But, I followed and read the footnote, and I regained my composure and re-read the passage. Itis a bit like reading your own medical records. You mentally acknowledge these truths, with a deep, very far-away desire the words don't deascribe you, don't define your dilemma. In black and white, they do.

But, I was not ashamed. I am proud I can admit thes details as I accept my innocence. I ran the gammut of emotions upon my first reading, but, re-reading is helping me. Just like how journaling helps us reconfigure and accept, so is this work.

Mostly, I am honored. I am honored to have thoughts and feelings that you felt were worthy of sharing. I am honored to be among the others whose words also found their way into your work.

My only regret, is that the work I was most proud of, my letter the day before, is unsigned. I really had to reach for the words for that one. That one was work, a work I am still doing, it seems.

Some of what you quoted, without reference to my name, seemed as if you were protecting me, in such a kind way. Some of my admissions regarding boys and backseats and sleepingbags....well, your discretion there was thoughtful. You did this work well Matt.
Thanks,
Leitha

I was really excited to see my drawings in there. It made the whole idea of being whole seem much more posible.

Thank you for including them.

I was so honored that you let me use them! I tried to place them in the context of text that matched the "feel" of the three pieces you let me use, including the "ray of hope" at the end of the section on confronting an abuser.

Bump

Well I know mine was only one tiny quote, to be honest I'd forgotten all about the fact that it was being used lol! So when I came upon it my first reaction was a bit of surprise, a feeling of "was that me? did I really say that?" And then I remembered. It wasn't a bad thing, just slightly strange.
Well if I ever get my own novel off the ground, I suppose I'll have to get used to the feeling :)

well...I didnt put nothin into the book! I wish I had lol.

But I do wanna say it made me excited to see people whom I have spoken to here on that page :D

I think I'd say I felt honored, embarrassed, thrilled and a little queasy. I'm glad I did it and I'm so thankful you gave us the opportunity! It was a really big deal for me.

You want to know something that was pretty neat? As you know, I went through RaR with my husband. There were parts where I didn't tell him I had contributed... I just left the names off of all the contributions as I read some sections. (I read it out loud to him.) We'd finish a section and he would comment on things I had read, and several times, he picked out the part I wrote to comment on, saying something like: "That one stated that really well", or "I agree with what she wrote there", or "that was neat... she really understands what she's talking about." Things like that.

I thought it was so neat because it just shows me how connected we are to each other... and he likes me, even if he didn't know it was me. lol

That is SO cool!

I have never coveted fame. I do not wish to be rich - not in the world's view of what that means. What I have wished, is to find purpose; some positive thing I can attribute to the 'why' of being raped. The words I wrote that you chose to include in this book are the closest I have ever come to that. If one sentence I poured onto the page might find it's way to a reader who finds comfort, or a piece of themselves - then the disclosure behind those words is worth it. In this life, we have few opportunities to be included in something with the potential to find the posititve aspect of our pain - a connection with another soul who hurts. "Resurrection After Rape" gave me that opportunity. I am immensely proud of my inclusion in this work.

I, myself, was not a part of RAR but to those who were, just know that your disclosure and openness to share touched deep in me. I know that I am not alone in my appreciation for your contribution. Thank you.

I agree...with the phrase 'appreciation for you contribution'. I found the word and stories contributed by many offered me a peace of mind that I wasn't alone in my feelings (that were confusing and scarey to me). I had never picked up ANY books on rape....20 plus years later, when I couldn't avoid addressing mine, I google the phrase aquaintence rape and the link to RaR appears on my screen.

For me personally...the title was what prompted me to look at this link first and the description and mention of survivors working with the author made me buy it. All in the course of a few minutes.

Thanks all for having the courage and openess to share ...

When the post man knocked at the door I was feeling tired and grumpy after a hectic morning getting the kids to school. When I saw the post mark I was so excited. Ripped off the paper and found a part of my reflections. I felt great and actually I was in a difficult confrontation with a tutor at the time and my own words reminded me where I'd come from and challenged me to consider in more depth what was going on. I was so chuffed to see my words valued that I didn't look any further. I flicked through the book and just couldn't believe little old me was a part of something that I could see would have a positive impact on so many lives! What a privilige.

Part of me wanted to scream out loud look! see! I told you I was a somebody! but the scared me felt embarrassed because in doing that I would still have to tell the world what happened to me and I wasn't sure I was ready to do that.

It was a few weeks later when I had delved in to different chapters (a terrible reading habit of mine) when I found the other 2 quotes. I took it to a friends house and showed her and then another as the reality hit me why do I have hide this I am not ashamed. I then started (as my therapist does not work specifically with rape and gets it wrong from time to time) to work through some of the exercises which have proved invaluable. To be next to Tori Amos an artist that made me cry lots and has always been a role model in my healing kicked any doubts from my mind.

Final thoughts when my husband was pointing out that I spent too much time living in the past I challenged him buy saying the Deb in there is your Deb when you've read the book then we'll discuss it. That for me was a moment and a half I'm not sure if he did read it but owning it in front of him (who has generally been supportive) felt like my final frontier.

What I have to say is thankyou. Thankyou for writing such as a fab book and giving little old me a voice and a voice to to those that are touched by it.
Deb