Resurrection After Rape Community Group
Discussion, question-and-answer, general social support, and journal processing for progress-oriented rape survivors. No crisis, no damaging or triggering conflicts--this is for individuals who want to contribute to collective, cooperative action toward the goal of making actual PROGRESS through rape trauma. Much of this work is based on the book "Resurrection After...
I know Lucinda posted about self-care and I could have put these there but it seemed like it also needed its own space.
I once knew someone who was self-harming and learned of the butterfly project. It might not work for everyone but I thought I'd at least share the existence of this option http://butterfly-project.tumblr.com/ and a similar version but they have slightly different ideas http://www.recoveryourlife.com/index.php?categoryid=148
I once knew someone who was self-harming and learned of the butterfly project. It might not work for everyone but I thought I'd at least share the existence of this option http://butterfly-project.tumblr.com/ and a similar version but they have slightly different ideas http://www.recoveryourlife.com/index.php?categoryid=148
I haven't cut nearly as much as I have beaten myself but the butterfly project might have helped me to resist self-harming.
When I burned the wooden spoon in the burn ceremony a few weeks ago, I made a promise to myself not to hurt myself ever again. I have had two times now that I felt that I had to hurt myself. The first time I cried my way through a prayer until the urge subsided enough that I could function.
The second time I took my mouse that my mouse friend gave me and clutched onto her, hugging her and telling her that she was loved. As I was talking to her, I put myself in the mouse's place and tried to feel the hugs and love that I was giving to the mouse. I was telling myself..........I love you enough NOT to hurt you.
These are some ideas for helping people delay or avoid self-harm that you might wish to consider – they’ve all been suggested by people who self-harm. Some ideas might seem ridiculous, but others might work. Different people find that different things help, and it isn’t failure if you try something and it doesn’t help. You may be able to add things which you have discovered.
Expressing Feelings
Letting it out PHYSICALLY
• Scream as loud as you can
• HIT a cushion / punch bag / throw a cushion against a wall
• Smash a water melon
• Kick a football against a wall
• Squeeze ice really hard
• Squeeze a stress ball
• Tear up a newspaper/phone directory
• Play loud music and dance energetically – be as wild as you like
• Draw on the place you want to cut with red marker pen, fake blood or watered down food colouring
• Write words on yourself with a red marker pen
• Spend some energy - go for a walk/swim/go to the gym/ride a bike/go running
Trying to work out how you’re feeling…
• Ask yourself “Do I feel ANGRY?’ ‘Do I feel anxious?’ ‘What about?’
• Ask yourself ‘What would the razor blade say if it could talk to me?’
• Write a letter to someone you’re angry with (hurt by etc.) saying how you feel (No need to send it.)
• Write a list of your achievements
• Write a letter to yourself saying ‘I love YOU because….’
• Make a list of things you’re thankful for
• Make a wish list
Talking about it….
• Talk to a friend
• Call Kids Help Line (1800 55 1800)
• Allow yourself to cry (if you can)
Use your Creativity
• Draw / paint / collage / paper mache / finger paint / sculpt in clay - to express what you want to do or what you are feeling
• Write a poem / story / song / joke / autobiography / parody / musical
• Write a DIARY / journal or read old diaries (unless there might be triggers)
• Scribble a word again and again to say how you’re feeling e.g. ‘lonely’, ‘angry’
• Deface a magazine (preferably your own)
• Paint with red paint using your fingers
• Draw yourself
• Write a message in a self-harm newsgroup on the internet
• Take some photos
• Play an instrument / Sing to music as LOUD as you can
• Put on music which expresses how you are feeling
• Write out the soundtrack to your life if it were a film
• Imagine a colour which expresses your feelings then change it in your mind to another colour
• Make a memory box / scrapbook
• Write an alternative ending to a story
• Watch a foreign language channel and make up your own interpretations
• Create your own cartoon characters / legends
• Create a SECRET CODE
Comforting Yourself…
• Have a bath or shower
• Stay in bed
• Use aromatherapy oils
• Eat chocolate (or whatever)
• Have an ‘emergency box’ with whatever helps you cope
• Buy something special
• Massage your hands / arms / feet (or the area you want to harm)
• Stroke a pet / cuddle a teddy
• Ask a friend to hug you
• Paint your nails / Have your hair done
• Have a cup of tea
• Rock / hug yourself
• Give yourself a henna tattoo
• Meditate / yoga
DISTRACTING yourself
Leisure Activities
• Watch television / video / DVD
• Play on a computer
• Go on the internet
• Learn a new skill (juggling / making balloon animals)
• Do puzzles / play chess / make your own puzzles
• Origami / make jewellery (beading)
• Sew / knit
• Go through a photo album
• Design a dream house
• Build a card house
• Make a paper chain of the days its been since you last cut (add a new one every day)
• Make a T-shirt
• Look for pictures in the clouds
GETTING OUT AND ABOUT……..
1. Sweep the path
2. Wash the car
3. Do some gardening
4. Go for a drive
5. Go to an arcade or playground
6. Make a kite/fly a kite
7. Go to the sea
8. Look at constellations
Being Productive…….. .
1. Catch up on DIY / housework
2. Cook/bake something
3. Have a clear out – give your old stuff to charity
4. Re-arrange your room/decorate
5. Read/study
6. Give your pets a bath
7. Volunteer somewhere
8. Join a class
9. Think about what you’d like to change about your life and make a plan