I can understand the panic over exams. I'm not pregnant but will struggle through a pap smear.

One thing I did at my recent appointment which helped a tiny bit was when I asked the doctor if I could actually use my own hands to allow the speculum in and she was ok with that. It gave me some sense of control even though it still wasn't pleasant but at least I felt more that I was a part of what was going on than being passive and having this thing just happen to me.

There are also midwives that according to some of the websites I've seen try to create the best birthing experience helping the mother and baby and work on the mind and body through out the pregnancy.

Whether physican or midwife try to be honest and hopefully they can help you through it.

I hope everything goes well.

For me, information really really helped. So, knowing exactly what was going to happen and when was helpful. Also, for the births, knowing the different stages, how I was likely to feel etc was helpful as I could ground myself by saying, 'oh, ok this is the whatever stage'. If you can tell those supporting you, that can be really helpful. if you find that difficult, you could write something along the lines of, 'I may not always be able to ask for what I need, but please talk to my partner as he understands what may be helpful to me in certain situations.'
I agree with healing journey, midwives are becoming increasingly more aware and sensitive to the needs of survivors, I guess you may find someone who has read up on some of the more helpful strategies or ways of being with women. There is also a chapter in the book about talking to your Ob/gyn and I think it would apply to midwives too - if you found someone you trusted to look after you during your pregnancy, maybe you could photocopy that bit and give it to them?
Oh and so many congratulations - such good, exciting and joyful news. Such a fantastic reason to go through all those potentially horrid examinations - a new little life you are growing, how exciting

Planning ahead would be my suggestion. Plan what you want to say and who you want to say it to, as this may vary in terms of people who accompany you, the doctors / midwives etc.. It is tough, but it can be done. As unfurling said, it is a very positive outcome in the end - try to focus on that. Each hurdle can be overcome along the way.

Thanks everyone.. Only two months to go now but still feeling quite anxious about everything... haven't logged on here in a while but getting quite worried about the whole thing.

I think people without a trauma history get anxious when their due date is approaching. Do you have people that are helping to support you? Do you feel safe with your doctor?

Sending support your way.

Having been through this multiple times, I know how disconcerting (and then some!) this can feel. I have been blessed to nearly always have had healthcare providers who understood when I would tell them I needed to know what was about to happen and when, and I was usually honest with them as to why I needed this extra comfort level. Never had any strange reactions, just compassion and understanding. (Honestly, docs were better than nurses, who are nearly always overworked). It's all a means to a glorious and beautiful end. Holding space and sending positive energy and much needed rest your way!