Resurrection After Rape Community Group
Discussion, question-and-answer, general social support, and journal processing for progress-oriented rape survivors. No crisis, no damaging or triggering conflicts--this is for individuals who want to contribute to collective, cooperative action toward the goal of making actual PROGRESS through rape trauma. Much of this work is based on the book "Resurrection After...
Patient gave written permission for me to post this. Her stuck point pertained to God's apparent absence during rape, and her rape happened soon after she was saved and baptized. So I altered her assignment, so that her "day before" letter is to her from God, not to her from her grown-up self. This is what she came up with:
Dear ----,
tomorrow something will happen to you that will change your life. You will get robbed, you will feel ruined. I wish it would be emotionally that simple. your emotional health will decline to the point you won't even know what's bothering you.
I won't leave you, and you've always known that. But you'll bury me away with the emotions and cover my voice with clutter. I'll keep reaching out for you, giving directions, but you'll only be composed enough to hear them sometimes. Your parents won't be of much help, nor your siblings. They will pretend to be supportive but don't fall for it. They've trapped you. They are amongst perpetrators themselves. They won't recognize the sickness as you and I do. Trust only me, and I can help you from there and I will let you know if you can trust anyone else.
Please know that I saw and will be with you the entire time. It won't be prevented, but that's not because I don't love you. This person or people have made choices to take advantage of you. It's a bad choice for both of you, but the decision has been made and the act will be carried out. I don't want you to let go of me. Protect yourself. Your family is not protecting you, so don't try to protect them. your perpetrators may or may not tell the truth--don't waste your time wondering if they are sorry. Believe that they aren't and I'll help you with the healing process from there. It's about you. You don't need extra weight, clothing, or bad habits to protect you on the outside. All you need is me. I'll protect you inside and out.
Please know this will happen more than once and by more than one person. Unfortunately, neither the act nor the healing process get easier, but the good news is that we get stronger with every step you take towards healing.
Please hang in there. Don't let go. I'll always be here and I know the truth,
-God
Dear ----,
tomorrow something will happen to you that will change your life. You will get robbed, you will feel ruined. I wish it would be emotionally that simple. your emotional health will decline to the point you won't even know what's bothering you.
I won't leave you, and you've always known that. But you'll bury me away with the emotions and cover my voice with clutter. I'll keep reaching out for you, giving directions, but you'll only be composed enough to hear them sometimes. Your parents won't be of much help, nor your siblings. They will pretend to be supportive but don't fall for it. They've trapped you. They are amongst perpetrators themselves. They won't recognize the sickness as you and I do. Trust only me, and I can help you from there and I will let you know if you can trust anyone else.
Please know that I saw and will be with you the entire time. It won't be prevented, but that's not because I don't love you. This person or people have made choices to take advantage of you. It's a bad choice for both of you, but the decision has been made and the act will be carried out. I don't want you to let go of me. Protect yourself. Your family is not protecting you, so don't try to protect them. your perpetrators may or may not tell the truth--don't waste your time wondering if they are sorry. Believe that they aren't and I'll help you with the healing process from there. It's about you. You don't need extra weight, clothing, or bad habits to protect you on the outside. All you need is me. I'll protect you inside and out.
Please know this will happen more than once and by more than one person. Unfortunately, neither the act nor the healing process get easier, but the good news is that we get stronger with every step you take towards healing.
Please hang in there. Don't let go. I'll always be here and I know the truth,
-God
I would like to try this assignment. God isn't a stuck point for me, but, I did...and maybe sometimes still, question the feeling of aloneness during such a vile intrusion on my sanity. But, although I didn't feel God's hand on me that day, I do believe God was there. If I did/do have a stuck point in regard to God, it would be that I believed so strongly that God could save me from the terror, I wondered, in the midst of it all, why He didn't. My stuck ponts from the God perspective were built by me, and I concluded that God was angry with me because I disobeyed my parents, and I broke one of the Ten Commandments, and that day, what happened to me were the consequences of that disobedience.
So, is there any special 'rules' to this assignment? Is there anything we should try NOT to do with it? I think I will like this, and I need something to work on that will give me some of the strength I have drawn from other assignments form you. Please tell me how to start.
(mainly because I can relate with it extremely)
The funny thing is I don't even consider myself religious..........but I really connect with this letter.
Thank you for posting this letter Matt. Many thanks to your patient from us as well! ; )