Resurrection After Rape Community Group
Discussion, question-and-answer, general social support, and journal processing for progress-oriented rape survivors. No crisis, no damaging or triggering conflicts--this is for individuals who want to contribute to collective, cooperative action toward the goal of making actual PROGRESS through rape trauma. Much of this work is based on the book "Resurrection After...
So this is a long one to try to get me to stop ruining my marriage and move on already.
im 19. ive been married for 6 months now. i was 7 the first time i was raped and it was right before my mom married her forth husband. YIKES right? Well thats not even a little taste of it. she put me in to nap with him everyday as she went outside with my brothers. I told her for the first time when i was 8. she told the cops i was a lier. NO im not kidding, I think the worst of it all was when he would lock me in a room and make me watch his children having sex with animals. i started drinking smoking and cutting. it happened every single day, and everytime i told she told the cops i was a lier so i just gave up. it happened until i was around 12. SO im 12 and my mom meets a man in N.A yes she did. and She brought him home when she was done with NA and he ended up raping me it felt was worse then when my moms husband did it, i think its because for some reason i trusted him. shortly after my brother found out what he did and he sat with me and cried for a bit. well after all that, my mom met a man whom she left her husband for NOT BECAUSE HER HUSBAND WAS RAPING ME. but mearly because she liked him and his drugs. soon enough she sold me for a place to stay man after man after man....now i have a lot going on with me
I hope you've read the book, Resurrection After Rape for it's well worth it.
And I hope you are able to see a therapist for help with healing.
Does your husband know about your childhood? And if so, how has he responded? He may find the book, Allies in Healing by Laura Davis helpful.
You don't say how your marriage is rocky but I hope couples counseling may be a possibility.
Motherhood obviously is not for every woman and it made me sad to hear your story. You've been through a lot and it will take time to heal, but it is possible, with hard work.
Keep coming back.
xx
SuzA