Resurrection After Rape Community Group
Discussion, question-and-answer, general social support, and journal processing for progress-oriented rape survivors. No crisis, no damaging or triggering conflicts--this is for individuals who want to contribute to collective, cooperative action toward the goal of making actual PROGRESS through rape trauma. Much of this work is based on the book "Resurrection After...
Since this group is less active now that Facebook has flourished, I'm just leaving occasional notes here so you will all know that I'm watching and paying attention. I haven't left, and I'm keeping a close eye just in case someone here needs to contact me, and so you'll know that I'm still present pretty much every day.
:)
:)
I don't remember which discussion thread it was, but you had said that you wished you could do a sweat, but all the branches were dry and everyone who had a lodge needed their wood for heat in the winter. You also said that you wished you had a piece of property where you could have a sweat lodge. You definitely need resources yourself as a caregiver for people who are sexually assaulted - it can be very demanding of your spirit - like you're trying to ward off evil all day every day.
I think you wrote somewhere that you were hoping someday to have a community where people could come as needed instead of just having a retreat once a year. That would be so great! Services even these days, which are way more advanced than when I was raped (when dinosaurs still roamed the earth), are still a complete grab bag - you never know what you're going to hear. I've heard stories on here that make my hair stand on end. I've had counselors say things to me that threw my recovery gears in reverse for a while. There is no consistency, and so much victim-blaming. It will be wonderful when we reach a day when we climb out of a culture that allows rape
Have you thought about grants and the practical aspects of a dream like that? I know usually foundations don't fund grants without a proven track record. RAR has been so successful, and is being adopted by more and more rape crisis centers as their book of choice - you're doing trainings - I would hope that some organization out there might be interested in a project that carries your approach to another healing level. As far as I know there aren't any communities like that. I think it would serve a lot of people. I think it would prevent a great number of substance abuse problems and other social problems. I used to do groups for Parents United - mostly for Adults Molested as Children and Non-Offending Spouses. So many of those people were there because their own kids had been molested, and so may of them only remembered their own molest after their kids were molested. They didn't have the opportunity to learn boundaries because their own parent molested them, so they didn't recognize a dangerous lack of boundaries in their spouses. Rape does something similar - it can teach you powerful, negative, wrong lessons about what kind of place the world is, what your place is in it, and what you can expect from it.
I hear a lot about centers for PTSD related to military experiences, and know there are rape crisis centers in many communities, but I don't think I've ever heard of a healing community for sexual assault survivors.
I've read many entries about the fear that can be overwhelming after rape. I experienced it, too - had to move out of the apartment I lived in for a while I was so scared.
There are battered women's shelters in so many communities now - I hope someday there will be healing shelters for rape survivors too, where you could hang out and to talk about what happened, learn about you're going through and hopefully avoid the isolation and negative coping patterns that can set in because you don't know how to process what happened.
The retreat is coming really soon - I'm so excited and scared! I don't think I've cried as much in my whole life as I have in the last few months, because of finally really delving into my past. It will be amazing to be around people who all understand. I'm so much looking forward to meeting you and your wife, and everyone who will be there.