The blog article made me think about Mike Domitrz and the work he does.

http://www.datesafeproject.org/

There is a difficult issue here. So often, conferences have special sessions all about engaging men and boys as allies. And yet there is also an undercurrent of resistance to that very opportunity, and at some conferences I've attended there have people who actually rose to speak out against men working with survivors. The gist was that women have led this movement since the beginning, so men who join in now will only compete for leadership--and besides, everyone knows that men don't "get" the whole SA issue.

In my own experience, I've found a weird double-standard. Half the time, I get accolades and flattery (from other professionals) I don't deserve because I'm a male, as if working in this movement makes me some special "great guy" hero. I don't think so, and don't regard my being a male as anything that deserves to be complimented, since my belief is that men ought to be participants in this work anyways. I don't want anyone to think that being a man wins me any special prestige.

On the other hand, there are times when my being male results in specific hostilities toward me. For a long time I was reluctant to say that because I didn't want it to come off like I attributed all of my personal struggles with "the system" to reverse sexism, but the idea didn't start with me. When bureaucrats critiqued my work, they did so on the basis that I was engaging in certain methods that were somehow controversial when I did them, but laudable when my female colleagues did the exact same things. My colleagues actually told me, "if you were a woman, and doing the same things, you'd be getting honors for it." I came to believe it when my opponents described the sweat lodge as "being in a dark, enclosed place with vulnerable women who are dripping wet" and pointing out that I continued to facilitate a community support group "while his wife was out of town." Such things would never have been said about a woman conducting the very same activities, and revealed an anti-male bias in rape work. The notion that a man has to suspend his group at work when his wife travels is not just absurd, it's downright sexist.

So the issue of men doing this work has been a Rorschach Test for the mindset of whoever comments on it. Colleagues seem to either idealize or demonize us. The weird thing is, actual survivors (at least those who really "get" the work) don't really make an issue out of it, except to occasionally make sport of it. They might approach me with skepticism, but in general they've been willing to "wait and see if he gets it," which is the fairest test.

One anecdote to share: a year ago, there was a woman who is well-known in Oklahoma among those of us who do this work. She's a psychologist and has been in this field for decades. She came to one of my trainings to hear me speak because, as she put it, she had "heard all about me" and she admitted she had come "to pick you apart and find fault with you." After hearing me speak (on the topic "The philosophy of rape work," which was recorded and it up on my website), she said "I can find no fault." Shex admitted she was biased against me and had come to heckle me, but while listening she had changed her mind.

So while there is still some weird transference about men in this work, it's slowly changing form.

My former therapist advised against my working with a male therapist. I'd brought it up once and she shot it down. She never really explained why just that it wasn't a good idea . I had a hard enough time with saying anything to a woman so I guess she figured I'd totally clam up around a guy. I guess for me male or female, I have trouble getting the words out regardless. Which I think says more about me and how I feel about my experiences then whether the therapist or other type of provider is male or female

I also think that males who were sexually violated are not given the same opportunities or resources for help. Maybe I'm wrong but when I first volunteered at my local rape crisis center 10 years ago, I was the first to bring up linking to resources for men on their website and I'm not a guy myself.

As much as the RAR book is focused on rape recovery, I wondered why there was nothing about men in there. Perhaps it's the nature of the client base that generated the content of the book or at least were willing to go public with content.

It was the nature of the client base. I've written for male survivors, too, but not as extensively. But also, the gold standard for books on male survivors has already been written by Mike Lew.

One study in 1990 found that female therapists are more knowledgeable about signs and symptoms of rape trauma, and that male therapists had less positive attitudes toward victims and were more likely to accept rape myths.

The same study found that therapists of EITHER gender who accepted rape myths were more likely to take a course of action based in victim-blaming, and were more likely to minimize rape as a treatment issue and focus on other problems.

Other interesting findings from this study were that younger therapists and therapists trained as psychologists and social workers had more positive attitudes toward rape victims.

This is not to say that female therapists can't also hold biases, but that bias was less common. The study concluded that it was bias versus knowledge, not gender versus gender, than most affected treatment outcomes.

A 1977 study found several potential problems when men work with rape victims. (Silverman, D. (1977) “First do no more harm: Female rape victims and the male counselor.” American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 47, 91-96.)

One was the therapist's possible anxiety about being rejected by the client because of his gender. This study found that the therapist's personal anxieties alone had the most significant effect on his modifications of treatment style.

The Silverman study found that the commonest mistake made by male therapists was to focus more on the sexual aspects of the assault than on the violence and emotional effects. This subtle bias can lead the client to feel less understood and supported.

The problems identified by Silverman included:

a) difficulty empathizing with the female;
b) identifying too strongly with male secondary survivors, thus conveying indignation for the loss he has suffered--which reinforces the female client's belief that she is seen as damaged, helpless, or vulnerable;
c) The male therapist becomes anxious and responds poorly to her display of emotions, confirming her suspicions that her experience is too horrifying to discuss or accept.
d) the male therapist is unaware of the reasons for the client's lessened capacity for trust or relationship, and becomes frustrated with his client.

Silverman's advice to therapists of either gender is to become fully educated about rape myths and rape trauma syndrome before embarking on any intervention with a female survivor.

Is there any research into if these problems occur with female therapist, male survivor relationships??

None that I have seen.

Why is there not the same issues with the inordinate amount of men who choose Gynecology as their medical focus?

If gender is the most important issue that REDUCES one's ability to provide the most appropriate care for a person, doesn't it stand to reason (using that frame of belief), that a female gynecologist would make a more suitable candidate to deliver the best care? Personally, I think that is hogwash! But, the reasoning seems to be, if I understand it, that, generally speaking, the stereotypical male persona prohibits his ability to engage, at the levels required for exemplary work with female victims of violent sexual crimes, simply because they lack, for a better way of putting it, a vagina and adequate levels of estrogen. So, is it a vagina that makes a therapist excellent? (I hope my sarcasm is as apparent as I am trying to display).

In Gynecology, as with any other medical specialty, one must be able to recognize healthy tissues and organs, and be able to see the disease states as well. Take a testicle, for another example. Testicular cancer is more prominent in a certain age range, has specific symptomatology, and generally speaking, a tumor on a testicle is palpable. Does it stand to reason, that if a woman knows the symptoms involved with testicular cancers, can identify a man's risk factors for developing the disease, and is also able to palpate a firm nodule within the scrotal sac...yet doesn't happen to "own" a set of testicles herself, she is incapable of discerning a probable testicular tumor? This male patient would be better served by a physician who happens to have testicles, because, surely he can 'relate' much better to the disease processes of physical 'items' he has more intimate knowledge of...well, you see how stupid this sounds. It is not now, nor should it ever have been, about gender, OR, about one's own personal history with trauma. I do not have to have ever had melanoma to be able to recognize a potentially deadly mole on another person's body. You, (in the collective sense) should not have to have been raped to connect in a very powerful way, to a person who has been. Anyone who believes that only a woman can relate, or speak effectively with a woman who is a victim of rape, in order to help her, is narrowminded and shortsighted, and is doing victims and survivors everywhere a grave disservice.

I have a male therapist. I see, in him, genuine concern for me, and a desire to help me heal. I happen to believe, with my specific set of issues, he...a man, is perhaps more able to help me, than a woman might be. I think I need someone who is able to show me a male's perspective...to allow me to see a man in the role of safe support. I will agree, I could possibly chit-chat about the bedroom issues a little more "comfortably" with a female, but, not in a professional role. Some of the problems with the discussion at all, lies not with the gender, but with the authority. It isn't just "girl talk", it is an intimate need that I have, and the context in which it is shared is between client and professional, not just a 'Support Provider", or
cheerleader.

I do not know if any of this came out like it is in my mind, but there is nothing any more sinister about a man choosing Trauma Recovery as his focus in his career, than there is in a man choosing to become a Gynecologist as his medical specialty.