I didn't report my rape for a number of reasons...but I would have felt much stronger about not reporting if I would have thought my rape might be reported in the media with my name given. Rape shield laws are to protect the victim. How many of us are still not willing to have everyone know we are sexual trauma survivors?

Very very few people would ever attempt to prosecute their rapists if it meant having to go public. I've seen how the media treats rape survivors in high profile cases. Mine wouldn't have received media attention but I can just imagine the sort of news stories that could have been written about it...the responses of people in my life...it would have been a nightmare.

@StehFest -- Thanks for responding. I didn't initially report my experiences either and only did so after the prompting of a victim advocate when I was trying to obtain a relief from abuse order. There was no physical evidence available so there was an interview but no charges.

I fully understand about the not wanting people to know and I still struggle with that even though my rapist fully acknowledges what he did (of course that acknowledgement came after the statute of limitations had expired and there was no physical evidence to begin with).

As a side note rape shield laws are about preventing a victim's sexual history from being presented in court. It isn't related to the identity of the victim. (http://www.ncvc.org/ncvc/main.aspx?dbID=DB_FAQ:RapeShieldLaws927)

I guess the whole point of my conversation is why does a rape have to be something that can't be gone to the police for as easily as something throwing a rock in your house window or robbing you? I know it's a more personal type of attack but it makes me wonder if it will ever get to a point where coming forward isn't such a difficult and shameful thing.

The link seemed to break http://www.ncvc.org/ncvc/main.aspx?dbID=DB_FAQ:RapeShieldLaws927

and it did it again. Oh well I'll separate it out and see if that works.
http://www.ncvc.org/ncvc/main.aspx?dbID=
DB_FAQ:RapeShieldLaws927

Guess that didn't work either. Sorry. it's the Rape Sheild FAQ from The National Center for Victims of Crime

There are some people who have insisted on not being digitized precisely because they read the name hiding and digitizing as reinforcing the shame factor. Others refuse to be digitized because they want the story to have a human face because people connect better when they see emotions on a face.

Then again rape by its very nature involves discussing acts involving very private parts of the body. So I can also see people wanting to keep their identity private for healthy reasons: its my body and I get to decide what stays covered.

I think we as a society need to change our attitudes to better understand that privacy does not equal shame but rather dignity and choice. There are good reasons for hiding identity and good reasons for sharing identity. Each should be respected.

I agree with Elisheva, "privacy does not equal shame but rather dignity and choice." There have been several cases here where women have chosen to release their name to the media, either print or video. Each will come with the disclaimer " *insert name of paper or news station* normally does not identify victims of sexual assault...." I think a good part of that goes to giving control back back to a sexual assault survivor, as far as speaking out.

Additionally, depending on the community you live in, sometimes victims are fearful of backlash for reporting, especially if the perpetrator is a well known member of the community.

An added dimension, there were 2 incidents within 1 year where women at the same college campus reported being raped on the campus' hiking trail. Both women admitted months later that a rape never happened, and THEN their names were released in the media. (as they had then been charged with filing a false police report). The media reported on the initial rape story, as a public service (without revealing the victims name), so the community, and college students could be warned that there was potentially a rapist targeting women on that particular trail.

Sadly, when those incidents happen it sheds a doubtful light on other victims within a community.

Elisheva I too appreciate and agree with your statement "I think we as a society need to change our attitudes to better understand that privacy does not equal shame but rather dignity and choice. There are good reasons for hiding identity and good reasons for sharing identity. Each should be respected. "

Finalytime - I can understand how fear might be a very important factor

it is hard balance to maintain. some of this thread links in with the other one about when to speak up and when not too.

i agree that "privacy does not equal shame but rather dignity and choice." but i think that society does make links between privacy (eg hidden identities) and shame.

You're right about rape shield laws...I wasn't thinking and misused that term.

I like what Elisheva said about privacy.

There can be tremendous backlash in being identified as a rape survivor. Our dear Poodle bravely lived through that nightmare.