She called me back. Said she works with trauma and thinks it would be a good fit. I go January 2nd for the first session. I want to hide.

Wow, Healing, your life and mine are so similar right now *glances over at her own post*!

I get what you mean about the ambivalence. This is not easy.

I hope she can work with you, and that she can help you improve your life. I’m rooting for you all the way.

Oh she can see you! Brilliant!

You can do this!

I really hope it works out for you Healing. The first session is so nerve wracking, but we will be here rooting for you. Let us know how you get on

Thanks for the replies, the support and well wishes. This isn't my first time around with therapy but for some reason I'm more stressed about it this time out.

Maybe that's because you know it can get really tough?!

But it is so worthwhile isnt it.

Keep us up to date - and well done for making these first really significant steps.

Good for you! I hope its a good fit and nourishing in all the ways you want.

Popping back in to say you have inspired me.

I now have health insurance through my job, and have access to MH therapy for $30 or $45 per session and FLEX funds that I can use for the copays.

I'm excited (and scared shitless) about having a good therapist in my back pocket again to just have a safe place to take the leftover "stuff" of my life.

I looked at a few therapists on line and called one.

So thanks for the inspiration!

Celtichope - I think it's partly because where I have to go is out of my comfort zone to begin with but if I"m working on fear why not keep facing it. Even if it means having therapy in a location I'm not all that thrilled about.

Oregonrobin - glad to be of inspiration. Hope things work out for you.