Resurrection After Rape Community Group
Discussion, question-and-answer, general social support, and journal processing for progress-oriented rape survivors. No crisis, no damaging or triggering conflicts--this is for individuals who want to contribute to collective, cooperative action toward the goal of making actual PROGRESS through rape trauma. Much of this work is based on the book "Resurrection After...
Okay, so last night I went to a sweatlodge ceremony that I very nearly decided to skip. See, I wasn\'t sure that a fresh tattoo could bear the heat, so I considered not even going.
We met at a new location to sweat. Formerly, we have met at a very old lodge that was built next to a substance abuse treatment center, which has since been abandoned. That means that the environment is littered with plastic bottles, junk, vacant buildings with broken windows, etc. It\'s still a VERY special place to me--after all, it\'s what we do, not where we are, that consecrates the ceremony--but it wasn\'t attractive.
So instead, we met further out into the open prairie on the tribe\'s land. This past weekend was the Cheyenne-Arapaho Sun Dance, so the prairie had the ceremonial arbors made of willow and cedar and cottonwood. Nothing around us by the rolling plains and grasses. No cans and bottles, no cigarette butts, just grasshoppers, scissortails, and rustling tall grass.
Behind us the sun set low on the horizon in a perfect sunset. To our east were the ceremonial arbors.
Only a few guys showed up, and they are all friends of mine except for one man who was going in for the first time. This was significant because he was a full-blooded man, an elder, but he had never done this before. He has lived a difficult life, and is trying to find the right way to live out his days, and he chose to return to these old ways. He was nervous, but he was beside me in the lodge and I felt so proud being a young guy (despite Shay\'s cruel and thoroughly abusive \"old man\" jokes) helping and teaching my own elder through this ceremony! It was only five men, plus my son River, in the lodge. No women came this week, so no pipe ceremony afterward.
The songs seemed especially powerful last night. The prayers seemed especially...I don\'t know, RIGHT. Many of you were prayed for by name by these men, and we talked about you in the ceremony.
At the end of the second round, as the sun touched the horizon, something amazing happened: more than fifty buffalo appeared on the eastern horizon, striding toward the sun dance arbors. We watched them stroll and graze from the distance.
At the end of the third round, the buffalo had entered the ceremonial arbor and taken turns approaching the center tree from the sun dance, which seemed really appropriate since the buffalo is a central figure in that ceremony. It was as if they were finishing the ceremony themselves, one by one, that the humans had begun this week.
But by the fourth round, the buffalo had gathered to the sweat lodge, completely encircling us. As we finished the ceremony, they closed the circle and approached us--all fifty+ of them. River was frightened and pressed himself against me, but was also amazed. We sat in the grass, steaming into the night from the ceremony, and just joked and visited and enjoy the company. The buffalo calmly and peacefully closed the circle around us to literally twenty feet or less--we were eye-to-eye with them. They watched us, completely unafraid and at home with us, and we just kept talking and storytelling as if they were family coming to be with us. Because after all, they are.
River wanted to go get his water jug to drink, but it was halfway between him and the bufallo--we\'re talking three strides for me, easily. Ten feet. So I said, \"Hey buffalo, River is going to get his water! He\'s a child and a good friend, so don\'t scare him!\" With perfect understanding, the lead bull nudged the others back a bit from the water bottle, and River stood and walked to them and took his bottle and came back. Then the bull led the others to re-form the circle around us again.
They stayed with us for half an hour, circling us and taking turns approaching us to see our lodge, to look each of us in the eye one at a time, and to greet us and then retreat. This continued until a coyote to the south appeared, and the herd galloped away to the north.
One could not have asked for a more serene and spiritual experience. I explained to River that these animals are brothers and sisters, and that their created purpose is to help keep us alive. That calmed him, and I also told him that since they were approaching US, they were not afraid and would not be aggressive or dangerous. I reminded him that he was living through a story that most people never have in their entire lives.
We met at a new location to sweat. Formerly, we have met at a very old lodge that was built next to a substance abuse treatment center, which has since been abandoned. That means that the environment is littered with plastic bottles, junk, vacant buildings with broken windows, etc. It\'s still a VERY special place to me--after all, it\'s what we do, not where we are, that consecrates the ceremony--but it wasn\'t attractive.
So instead, we met further out into the open prairie on the tribe\'s land. This past weekend was the Cheyenne-Arapaho Sun Dance, so the prairie had the ceremonial arbors made of willow and cedar and cottonwood. Nothing around us by the rolling plains and grasses. No cans and bottles, no cigarette butts, just grasshoppers, scissortails, and rustling tall grass.
Behind us the sun set low on the horizon in a perfect sunset. To our east were the ceremonial arbors.
Only a few guys showed up, and they are all friends of mine except for one man who was going in for the first time. This was significant because he was a full-blooded man, an elder, but he had never done this before. He has lived a difficult life, and is trying to find the right way to live out his days, and he chose to return to these old ways. He was nervous, but he was beside me in the lodge and I felt so proud being a young guy (despite Shay\'s cruel and thoroughly abusive \"old man\" jokes) helping and teaching my own elder through this ceremony! It was only five men, plus my son River, in the lodge. No women came this week, so no pipe ceremony afterward.
The songs seemed especially powerful last night. The prayers seemed especially...I don\'t know, RIGHT. Many of you were prayed for by name by these men, and we talked about you in the ceremony.
At the end of the second round, as the sun touched the horizon, something amazing happened: more than fifty buffalo appeared on the eastern horizon, striding toward the sun dance arbors. We watched them stroll and graze from the distance.
At the end of the third round, the buffalo had entered the ceremonial arbor and taken turns approaching the center tree from the sun dance, which seemed really appropriate since the buffalo is a central figure in that ceremony. It was as if they were finishing the ceremony themselves, one by one, that the humans had begun this week.
But by the fourth round, the buffalo had gathered to the sweat lodge, completely encircling us. As we finished the ceremony, they closed the circle and approached us--all fifty+ of them. River was frightened and pressed himself against me, but was also amazed. We sat in the grass, steaming into the night from the ceremony, and just joked and visited and enjoy the company. The buffalo calmly and peacefully closed the circle around us to literally twenty feet or less--we were eye-to-eye with them. They watched us, completely unafraid and at home with us, and we just kept talking and storytelling as if they were family coming to be with us. Because after all, they are.
River wanted to go get his water jug to drink, but it was halfway between him and the bufallo--we\'re talking three strides for me, easily. Ten feet. So I said, \"Hey buffalo, River is going to get his water! He\'s a child and a good friend, so don\'t scare him!\" With perfect understanding, the lead bull nudged the others back a bit from the water bottle, and River stood and walked to them and took his bottle and came back. Then the bull led the others to re-form the circle around us again.
They stayed with us for half an hour, circling us and taking turns approaching us to see our lodge, to look each of us in the eye one at a time, and to greet us and then retreat. This continued until a coyote to the south appeared, and the herd galloped away to the north.
One could not have asked for a more serene and spiritual experience. I explained to River that these animals are brothers and sisters, and that their created purpose is to help keep us alive. That calmed him, and I also told him that since they were approaching US, they were not afraid and would not be aggressive or dangerous. I reminded him that he was living through a story that most people never have in their entire lives.
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