I think you should take the job... You've got little boys, a wife in back pain, and a talent in an area that need people like you in a big bad serious way.
You've got plenty of time to do all the other stuff you wanna do, I think right now you need health insurance, not to mention the people who would benefit from your services.
Oh, and the being able to refute the naysayers...that's a serious plus.

I agree, but just to play D.A, with the reasoning: the boys are eligible for Medicaid, and health insurance wouldn't help Tonya's back because of pre-existing condition stuff. So we're in the same boat, medically, either way on that.

WELL that changes things up a lot actually.

I don't know...both, I think, are good options. Both are doing what you love to do. Both are doing what you're MEANT to be doing. I don't see a bad option. Rarely do we get to choose between the lesser of two wonderfuls lol
I have an opinion, with reasons, but I'll put them in a PM. Peace!

that job...there....take it

Pre-existing conditions are only an issue for set periods of time...so, in order for her to 'ever' qualify, she needs to get on the insurance rolls as soon as possible (barring Obama's health insurance ideas, of course). So, as things stand now, in a bit over a year after going on a group policy...sometimes a bit longer depending on the company...Tonya indeed could be having her much needed procedure. You have mentioned the loss of healthcare as an issue too many times for me to think you are happy putting your boys on the Medicaid roll.

You wrote RAR while employed full-time. You have such zeal and are so gifted in the role of a leader in education of others in how to care for victims of SA and rape...I know you can do the job. I have no doubt that you can do it....even if organizing isn't your forte....your assistant would be helpful in that regard, assuming you cohose one strong in organizational skills...so, the choice would be very important...not just about working with someone you like, but also someone who can do the parts of the job you know you are gifted to do.

It sounds like a great opportunity...to go to work. But, you sound like you have reservations about it...I say pray about it...and talk to Tonya...and see just how she feels and how it all settles in after that. I know you have had lots of freedom since you have been out of work...and you have engaged in passions that please you...but, will those passions pay the bills for as long as you need for them to? BUT...flipside...will this job pay the bills...or just zap your time and energy...and leave you with a low balance in the bank as well as the other areas where you need assets?

I will pray for you.

I'm worried that the job will drive me nuts...planning, planning, planning....deadlines, reports, organizing...But who knows?

For the record--and not to make this a health care debate--Medicaid is awesome. We have no reservations about it. but I do see your point about the PEC and needing Tonya enrolled ASAP.

Matt, check out the pre-existing 'stuff' you mentioned. Hubby provides health care for his employees and they pay for the extra family coverage. When they join, they are eligible for coverage for everything, regardless. But we don't live in OK and but the insurance laws vary from state to state and your state may allow Tonya treatment for her back with full coverage (after deductible). You should really check that out. We have had insurance here for years and none of our medical issues were ever considered 'pre-existing' even though they were.

I vote : Take the job (my 5 minutes is up:)

I am on the fence. Medical issues.. look into the pre existing condition... Tonya might be eligible sooner than you think... I know med insurance is a huge factor in any decision like this.

On the other hand... what is the job stability for this position? Is it for a year or 2, and then when things are up and running will you be out the door?

Lets not kid here... the first few months prob will be hell, as with any new job. However, like Leitha said, an assistant can greatly help you with some of the planning, deadline stuff.

You are right, there are pros and cons for each. I agree, talk it over, go sit outside and think it over in a quiet spot... and I am sure the right decision for you will emerge!

Oh my last 2 cents... one should never ever take a job for "revenge" for lack of a better word. It just never works out like how you wanted, and I would imagine you won't feel so great after a while either hehe


Good luck with this decision... it is a tough one, but I know what ever you decide upon, it will be the best for you and your family!

Matt, I can't really tell if you feel like this is exactly what you want to do. When I was reading your post, I kept thinking, "wow! Excellent! Theres no better person for this!" My opinion still stands, but it seems like you may be a different understanding of what the job entails than I do. Health benefits are always a plus, no matter how you slice it. What concerned me was your understanding that it would take away so much of your free time and your position seems like it would be more administrative type rather than the "nitty gritty," what you're good at. I think you would miss the interpersonal connection with people. But then again, the pride you would feel in establishing those programs would be incredible.

And the times are what they are. If you need the job to pay the bills, sometimes thats what we have to do and it sounds like it's not a "settlement" of a position either, so that's nice. How long is the project? Can you establish these things and then go into private practice (say... in AZ? LoL) to pick up where you left off? I guess all iln all, it depends on how big of a footprint you want to leave in this particular project.

This is purely selfish because I don't have to make the sacrifices you do in order to see this happen, but the programs you speak of would be incredibly important. My sister is actually a SANE nurse. Ironic, huh? The education alone that goes into the public when these new programs are established is contageous, and it truly sends a message that SA isn't what some people think it is. It is worthy of fighting, and importantly, funding. It helps to open eyes.

You have to do what is right for you and your family, don't be a martyr. But follow your heart. BUT NO MATTER WHAT, DON'T LEAVE RAR!!! LOL

Good luck, I'll be praying for you. Devin

I have to say, for the large scale of work that they're asking you to do I'd expect that to come with a senior manager level salary!
But if you get to choose and hire a good assistant, having someone to take care of the office admin and routine paperwork will probably make a HUGE difference to the amount of real work that you can get done. Sounds like you'd need someone who's got sympathy for the work but who's also good at the organisational/left-brain side of things? I'd apply myself, but I think it would be too much of a commute!

On the plus side, you already know OCADVSA and probably know something about the people you'll be working with, how the infrastructure already works ......................... so you probably already have an idea of exactly who you'd need to meet with to get things moving. Sounds to me like it's a case of knowing which people are good at working their way round the bureaucracy in order to get results. (Working for the NHS, I've learned that knowing how to 'work the system' in a constructive way is something of an art form!)

If you took the job for a couple of years, would it be possible to then move on to further academic work later, supported by them as a career development thing?

Good luck, whatever you decide to do!

What does your heart say?

I agree with the heart part first and foremost. I am going to go out on a limb and share my story which seems weird, but I can I relate. Now, let me preface that my husband does have a job.

I have sort of been a lost soul of what to do with my life. I have been successful, but I have not found the job where my heart is in it. I was an engineer for AT&T. It was good. I got laid off and went back to school to become a math teacher. It was not a good fit because I had several issues that which I will not enumerate here. However, let me state that all of these past jobs were necessary for my current endeavor. I needed each and every one of those skills to do what I am currently doing.

For years, I have been very unhappy with the math that my kids were learning in school. I thought that everyone deserves a proper education. I had been checking the internet and there were disgruntled people and groups all over the country. It is a serious problems. Our latest math national scores show that we are failing as a nation. I saw another state where they organized across the state and unified to get legislation passed for overhauling their state standards. I found someone else in my state (actually almost one year ago) and we formed a coalition in NJ. We figured that if we could change at the state level than we would could change locally.

Now, I won't go through the whole crazy year. However, it has been the most amazing ride. I think that the most rewarding piece of it is that we could impact millions of children and their education. It is not something that I figured at the onset. I am not sure that we will be able accomplish what we want. However, we did get our old state standards thrown out. We went national with 17? state chapters. We did get to testify at our Capitol in June.

Lately, I have been a bit despondent about this whole thing especially when I saw the movie, The Cartel. Last week must have been a sign for me. National math test scores released. We had a local paper call us for comment and the NY Times contacted us to be an opinion person on their website which one of our members did.

The best thing of all about last week is that we met with a urban group in Newark who wants to work with us. I was so happy in that building because I know that every child in this state and country has a right to a proper education to compete in the global economy. I am not getting paid. I am having the best job satisfaction ever.

I am sorry to share this long story. However, there is great satisfaction working on something where there is a great injustice (which you already do) - it is new to me. There is satisfaction in creating something that was not there. You get to impact thousands of people and what you do will be there after you are gone from this job and continue to help people on a grand scale.

You talk about the planning piece. These two other people that I work with (who I found on the Internet:) ) - we all bring different skills to the table and complement each other. We are all passionate about the same goal. You can look at your assistant as complimenting your skill set and that in itself is an amazing experience. I am honored and humbled to work with these two people every day.

I will be honest that the pay thing bothers me. I know that I will find a low paying job in somehow serving the public, but I will be happy. I finally know that in my heart that is what I am meant to do.

In the end, as I tell my kids, it is important that you are happy going to work every day. You spend too many hours at a job for it be a just job.

My other thought on these matters is that with great risk can come great reward. I guess that it is true with this healing, too? Of course, there is a downside to risks as well in the business context.

OK...I am not sure that this useful. I wish you luck in your decision. It seems to me that you have to great things to pursue and you won't lose either way.

You can make a difference for victims/survivors on a large scale, be pretty broke & likely frustrated with the lifestyle change. Or, go for your doctorate, I think the broke part will remain, stress will too but you will have a more flexible life.

The right assistant would ease your concerns of planning. Management delegates, they have someone that maintains the structure for them. LOL, department heads would be LOST without their support staff. Also, would taking the job be a lifetime commitment? People leave jobs all of the time; altering the course isn' t failure - its recognizing a bad fit. Good luck with your decision, either way it shakes out it is what you are meant to be doing at this stage of your life.

My heart says it's foolish to even second-guess this. In a depressed state like Oklahoma, it's crazy to pass up a job at all, let alone one which positions me in such a prominent role in SA services.

My heart also says I'm the happiest I've ever been to work from home on art and new publications, being there with my family all the time and having the option to travel at will without constraints.

But in any choice, we make trades. Fortunately, the Director says she knows how important these other projects are to me too, and she wants to encourage me to continue with them (especially the writing), and she would be willing to let me set a flexible schedule as long as the tasks of the project are accomplished. I don't think I'll find a better deal than that!

I want to add something positive to this: she (Marcia, the Director) had given my book to someone she knows, and she told me that the transformation was amazing. This friend of her had really worked the whole program, doing all the journaling and exercises in the book, and she told Marcia, "That book saved my life!" Marcia said she looked like a totally different woman: she stood straighter, made eye contact, smiled more, was confident, and spoke more boldly. Marcia could not believe her eyes! So Marcia told me that she wants to support my work on my current two book projects as much as possible.

Having a great boss is a gift. There are few and hard to come by. They are like great teachers. There are lots of good teachers, but not many great. Marcia seems like a great boss.