Hi today I had to go to church today and I managed my anxiety more. The tough thing is Im slowly working on leaving the church but because of the religious truma syndrome the thought of leaving the church gives me suicidal thoughts. Its so hard because I dont want to die I want to live but I just want to be free of the pain and suffering that has come from me being raised catholic. I just wish I could forget about my upbringing in the church. I feel like even when I leave there will always be that feeling That inkling in the back of my mind of what if there right what if the catholics are right.