I think I need to add more detail. Here:
-The Christian worldview can feel limiting: Something can either be good or evil. There's no grey area. It feels like we have to view people of other faiths in us vs them terms. "They're different in a negative way. They're objectively wrong in their lifestyle." Going to Ekklesia gave me that impression. No one there was hateful towards people of other religions but as I stated already, it's like we shouldn't see how we have things in common: We both believe in higher powers and want more meaning in life. The big picture, y'know?

-Living in a Christian lifestyle fuels my struggles with anxiety. Am I doing something wrong? Am I being selfish and not living properly? I don't go to church every week because I just don't want to have attention on me from others and I just prefer staying home. What if I'm wrong about being agnostic or Christian?? Plus just the fear of the end of all things that mom unintentionally placed in me when the 2011 tsunami hit Japan just FUELS my anxiety. I'm a very anxious, kind of high strung person at times

-Religion can feel like a means to control people and bend them to your will with threats of suffering after death for not conforming. I feel like none of my achievements are my own (graduating, completing assignments, etc) and that I should never take credit for them.

Hi I’m going through some of the exact same things your going through. I was raised catholic but now I’ve been having a hard time believing in Catholicism. I just have a hard time believing in things that aren’t given evidence as is often the case in the Catholic Church. Honestly I don’t think there is one correct way to live. Some times I don’t want to go to church on sundays and holy days. I just wish I could have chosen my religious beliefs and that I could now. I’ve worried about some of the same things you have worried about not being good enough,disappointing my family by leaving the faith and what happens after death. I agree with you on the Christian world view feeling limiting. It’s caused anxiety for me to. I agree with you that religion seems to feel like a means to control people and bend them to your will with threats of suffering after death. Sometimes I feel like I’d rather be non religious or an atheist or something that did not involve following a religion.

Hi here is some advice on how I deal with worrying about what happens after death. Simply live the best life you can be the best person you can be fit what you can into life and someday when death comes will see what comes next.