Me and my ex were together for 3 years, we broke up because I was miserable. He wouldn’t speak to me, do anything social with me, pretty much just ignored me for the last year and a half of our relationship. I did bring it up to him and how it was making me feel but he really didn’t seem to care at all. I finally got the courage to end it all even though I was still so in love, but it felt like the right thing to do as I was so sick of feeling so alone all the time. 
Not long after, I slept with someone else, it was a whirlwind. This man was giving me all the attention I had craved for so long, and it really swept me off my feet. My ex then came back into the picture and was asking for us to get back together, as it had come to light that the reason he was so distant with me was because he was suffering from depression - and he wanted to treat me right. I felt horrible, like I’d abandoned him at his lowest and I really just feel like the worst person alive. But I couldn’t get back with him, as id already slept with someone else (I’m not the type of girl to sleep around like that so it felt like the adult thing to do) and the thought of being ignored again like that is so scary to me. I cut ties with him and told him it couldn’t be but I don’t know if that was the right thing to do. I think I still love him but I can’t stop thinking of the last years of our relationship.

Now, when I was a teenager i was told that i would probably not have children due to a medical condition - I grew to accept this and haven’t been using birth control for almost 10 years. I’ve now been seeing this guy for 3 months and I am 2 months pregnant. He is over the moon about the baby, and more than happy to settle down with me. 
After dating for little over two weeks he confessed his undying love and believes I am his soul mate (although I feel like this is something he has said often), I told him I didn’t feel that way at the time as, well, ya know... two weeks is a little quick and I had just got out of an emotionally draining relationship.  
Then the week after I find out I’m pregnant, so things have taken a much quicker turn than I had hoped. 
I just craved attention after being ignored for so long and I’m not sure this is the man I want to settle down with. He treats me amazing, always doing lovely things for me but I feel he has a lot of secrets - and he just throws the L bomb around so willy nilly it doesn’t feel genuine at all. I definitely don’t have strong feelings for him, but maybe it’s just to early to know? There is definitely something there for him but I’m not sure he’s very trustworthy and I feel like it’s just moved far too quickly for me to even wrap my head around what’s going on. Am I doing the right thing by sticking with this man because he’s the father of my child or should I go with my gut and raise the baby on my own? Or do I give my ex another chance? I always thought HE was my soul mate but I can’t ignore how I felt these last years.

But I can’t help but think I’m just pushing Mr. perfect (maybe a little too perfect - but is that my mind?) away - he’s literally everything I could ask for in a guy - it’s like the scene from practical magic we’re the little girl casts a spell for the perfect man - and he arrived - late, but he arrives. Do I give him a chance before making any rash decisions? 

I really need help with this.

(Getting rid of the child isn’t an option as I feel like it may be my only chance)