Living with a chronic condition can be so depressing and lonely. It feels as no one understands.I Have chronic primary lympedema of both feet and legs. This is a condition that results because the lymphatic system is not functioning properly and then causes fluid retention.

I am not saying it is easy to live with a chronic condition when you are old, but it is so much difficult when you are young. I have lived with this condition since i was 16 years today i am 29 years. The condition was not as bad in my teens but it still shattered my self esteem then, but now it has affected me even more because it is progressive. I feel like part of me has died or to be honest i just feel like i died sometime ago and contiunue to exist . I have such a deep seated sadness from within and i feel so empty and lonely.

It is because of this condition my boyfriend broke up with me four years ago and i have never dated ever since then, it also affeted my career life as i had to give up my job as a Chemist because my feet could no longer carry me. I then had to go and pursue my second degree in Information technology that i completed last year to get me a job that requires me to sit.I am glad i am done and now looking for a job but part of me is sad because i am not really passionate about my second degree.


Right now i just feel like life has come to a stand still. I am so so sad most of the times and i cant seem to shake of the feeling.
Right now at the age of 29 i feel like i have nothing to hold onto, all mys sisters are married with kids and most of my friends are either in a stable relationship or married. They also have houses and cars ( not really a big deal because one day i will also buy those). But the relationship part is the saddest part.

I feel like nothing is going right at the moment , i am so depressed right now. It seems my whole life just revolves around lympedema. When we go out people my age are addressed up , but as for me it is hard to find the right size of shoes because of my condition and i also dont put on short skirts so i can hide my legs. Going out has become a nightmare , i feel so lonely even when around friends and family. Lately i have been crying my self to sleep everyday i just dont know how to deal with my emotions . Since this is a life time condition i really cannot go on like this i am trying so hard to figh this feeling but i am just not winning.

I am so scared to love again , i am not ready to give my already shattered heart away. I really to feel terrible right now, i feel lonely, sad, empty i just do not know what to hold onto and am not really passionate about my second course but i had to do it because of my condition.

I am failing to live positively with chronic pain. I have re-told my story so many times. I need some encouragement.

Thank you