RELATIONSHIPS 101 Community Group
HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS EMOTIONAL ROLLER-COASTER WE CALL LOVE.
To start I have bipolar and anxiety issues and I am in therapy and on some meds (that do not appear to be working right now but have to go through the process of finding the right ones).
My issues of lack of motivation, lack of wanting to be intimate, and just being down a lot, I know causes a lot of issues.
I tried explaining to wife my issues and what I am going through but she doesn't understand or wont try.
She is negative to me all the time and it does not help my depression and even makes it worse, I know some of it is circular because I am not being intimate she feels bad, and thus becomes negative.
It has gotten to the point of me seriously considering ending it but I have 2 kids (3 and 5) that I don't/cant live without seeing them every day. I know if we get a divorce the best I can hope for is joint custody and even that scares me because they change so much so fast I don't want to miss anything. If they were older it may be a different story.
I know she has issues of her own that she needs to deal with, especially when her sister, mom, and her daughter (my step daughter who is 22) say the same thing and say WTF is going on with her now.
I think she needs to go to her own therapy and we need to go to couples therapy because we do not communicate very well and I avoid confrontation. But me even mentioning therapy she freaks out and wont go. I even mentioned me just going (before I started) and she freaked. I think she doesn't want to go because she will find out that not all the issues we are having are my fault and she doesn't want to take responsibility for herself and her issues (consciously or subconsciously).
I just don't know what to do and want to see if anyone has had or is in a similar situation (on any of the issues I mentioned or all together) because I just don't know what to do.
My issues of lack of motivation, lack of wanting to be intimate, and just being down a lot, I know causes a lot of issues.
I tried explaining to wife my issues and what I am going through but she doesn't understand or wont try.
She is negative to me all the time and it does not help my depression and even makes it worse, I know some of it is circular because I am not being intimate she feels bad, and thus becomes negative.
It has gotten to the point of me seriously considering ending it but I have 2 kids (3 and 5) that I don't/cant live without seeing them every day. I know if we get a divorce the best I can hope for is joint custody and even that scares me because they change so much so fast I don't want to miss anything. If they were older it may be a different story.
I know she has issues of her own that she needs to deal with, especially when her sister, mom, and her daughter (my step daughter who is 22) say the same thing and say WTF is going on with her now.
I think she needs to go to her own therapy and we need to go to couples therapy because we do not communicate very well and I avoid confrontation. But me even mentioning therapy she freaks out and wont go. I even mentioned me just going (before I started) and she freaked. I think she doesn't want to go because she will find out that not all the issues we are having are my fault and she doesn't want to take responsibility for herself and her issues (consciously or subconsciously).
I just don't know what to do and want to see if anyone has had or is in a similar situation (on any of the issues I mentioned or all together) because I just don't know what to do.
Counseling is a great option, if she's not interested then you can go alone, maybe at some point introduce her into it as part of your recovery and not about her...kind of a trick but it might be enough to at least get her in the door.
If she wants to save your marriage, it MUST be part of the solution as you two cannot make things right on your own. This offers options and solutions that you both might not have thought about or able to resolve. What you two have been doing is obviously not working, help of a professional will help put you two on equal ground to rebuild.