Relationship ER Community Group
This support group is for those who have been through a hard time due to a past relationship. The goal is for this group to be able to help those who are suffering to become emotionally healthy through the support of the group.
Hi there,
Long story short I was dumped 12 years ago by my ex fiance. He phoned me up one day and told me that he wanted to take separate paths. Obviously I did something to upset him. I'm still not sure to this day. I sent him back the ring 9 months later with a letter. He never replied. All I ever wanted was some closure and maybe an apology. It's the silence that has killed me inside. I loved him so much and still do. Thing is I can remember the converstion in detail and it's haunting me.
A friend recently told me he's married and has two kids. That's fine. The part that hurts the most is that he made so many promises to me and broke everyone of them. I'm just hurt that he was able to just abandon me. I'm not perfect and perhaps alot of this is my fault I don't know it's just that I really needed him to just have a conversation with me at the end. That's all instead I'm left wondering what happened when I thought we were madly in love.
The other thing is that when I met him my dad had passed away the year before. I still had raw grief happening over my dad and he came along and made me so happy. Since my dad had been sick for about 6 years I never really dated much so I feel like he took alot of my innocence away. I often feel a bit violated and that he took advantage of me and my innocence at the time.
Right now I'm married to a wonderful man and have two children. My husband knows about my past and in fact he was a great friend to me during that time. I was happy until about a year ago when I started having dreams about my past relationship. Now it seems that it's all I can think about and it consumes me. It's not fair to my husband.
A friend told me that I will never get closure and that I should just move on. I see that but it's so hard because I'm a true romantic and like an idiot I believed every single word he said to me as he seduced me into falling for him. My brain tells me he was lying to me but my heart wants to believe otherwise. I sometimes just can't believe that all the loving words he said to me were all a lie.
Can anyone relate?
Long story short I was dumped 12 years ago by my ex fiance. He phoned me up one day and told me that he wanted to take separate paths. Obviously I did something to upset him. I'm still not sure to this day. I sent him back the ring 9 months later with a letter. He never replied. All I ever wanted was some closure and maybe an apology. It's the silence that has killed me inside. I loved him so much and still do. Thing is I can remember the converstion in detail and it's haunting me.
A friend recently told me he's married and has two kids. That's fine. The part that hurts the most is that he made so many promises to me and broke everyone of them. I'm just hurt that he was able to just abandon me. I'm not perfect and perhaps alot of this is my fault I don't know it's just that I really needed him to just have a conversation with me at the end. That's all instead I'm left wondering what happened when I thought we were madly in love.
The other thing is that when I met him my dad had passed away the year before. I still had raw grief happening over my dad and he came along and made me so happy. Since my dad had been sick for about 6 years I never really dated much so I feel like he took alot of my innocence away. I often feel a bit violated and that he took advantage of me and my innocence at the time.
Right now I'm married to a wonderful man and have two children. My husband knows about my past and in fact he was a great friend to me during that time. I was happy until about a year ago when I started having dreams about my past relationship. Now it seems that it's all I can think about and it consumes me. It's not fair to my husband.
A friend told me that I will never get closure and that I should just move on. I see that but it's so hard because I'm a true romantic and like an idiot I believed every single word he said to me as he seduced me into falling for him. My brain tells me he was lying to me but my heart wants to believe otherwise. I sometimes just can't believe that all the loving words he said to me were all a lie.
Can anyone relate?
My xhusband and I were divorced. I met a guy on here. we saw each other every 3-4 months for 2 years. We were long distance. My LDR new the story, but he felt that I wasn't moved on from my x, which maybe I wasn't in some form, but I was trying to have a new relationship with him, but it caused a lot of problems, to where now, I am alone, because he didn't want to wait, for the distance and I guess for me to be truely over him. the sad thing, he was believing lies that my neighbor was saying about me and my x, which were NOT true. but he was so obsessed with my x, that it also ruined it. I should have just moved away with him, and then I would have had a better chance to move on.
If I ever have the chance to oneday again, find somone that will really love me,, I will do everything in my power to move away from here and start over and put my past in my past.
I think you should to. It sounds like you have a a good thing, husband, kids, and your past should stay there and make happy with what your new family. You don't want to loose it because of your past. Hang in there!