I have finally gotten out of an abusive marriage that lasted 13 years. We have a 10 year old son who loves both of his parents very much. My main concern is making sure he is okay and creating a happy healthy life for him. But the scary part is I am on my own, what kept me in the abuse for so long is not having the confidence to be on my own and not knowing I was more then capable of creating a new life. 

I spent years being controlled and told who I was allowed to hand out with and when. I didn't dare "ask" if I could go have a drink with a friend because if I did I was choosing to be with friends over being a good mother. I was called names and put down. I would never go shopping, because as soon  as I got home I was asked how much I spent and told to return things because the 10 dollars I spent on a shirt was too much. I was told over and over again how I never did enough to help the family, even though I worked 2 jobs. My phone was even taken from me so I could call anyone for support or help. 

I decided one day that I wanted my son to see that that kind of a relationship was not healthy and I wanted to show him how people are supposed to be treated, and that thought got me out. I ended up filling for divorce but before he was even served the paperwork, he exploded. One week ago he took my phone and held me at the house abusing me. I have bruises up and down my arms and scars on the inside that will take years to heal, I ended up running down our road at 3 am calling for help. 

After that nightmare I decided I will NEVER let myself be hurt again, I know what happiness looks like and that is my goal. However right now I feel lost, I don't know which direction to go in. I am on my own and I have a lot of hard work ahead of me.