Im going to try and tell the story of my 12 year marriage, being 2 weeks away from divorce finalization and lastly, the miracle of Gods power to reconcile a broken marriage, and fully restore it.

When i met my wife it was love at first sight. I actually called a friend within an hour of meeting her and told them i met the woman i was going to marry. She came over to watch a movie at my apartment for our first date and i cooked for her. She never left. We spent the next 2 years living with one another, growing deeper in love everyday. We would often stay up all night just talking. We had a beautiful wedding worthy of a storybook. We were both very young (23 years old)

It was a time of new beginnings. I had just gotten out of the Airforce and had a low paying job which i disliked, but i was happy and hopefull. We enjoyed our time together so much that we decided not to have children. None of our friends understood this, we just weren't in a rush to do so. 5 years into our marriage, we decided i would go back to college at the age of 28 to provide a better life for us. We lived in different states for months while staying with family and it was a major sacrafice for both of us to pull this off. I excelled in school and graduated top of my class getting a 6 figure job right out of college.

We moved to Texas where my new career was to begin. We had our share of marital problems and arguments throughout the years but our love was strong, and we both genuinely cared about one another. We were in hot pursuit of the american dream and it didnt take long for my wife to find her dream home, an old Victorian that needed a complete gut job. I was very willing to provide whatever she desired and we bought our first house. Not long after, we decided to have a child together. It was an amazing time in our marriage filled with hard work, payoff, and new life.

Throughout the years, my wife had always struggled with fear, worry,anxiety, and pride and my struggle was alcohol, and ego. We both would revert to endulging in these behaiviors when things got really tough but for the most part, we kept them in check. I did very well in my new feild of study and moved up quickly. We renovated the house exactly how she had dreamed it in her head.

There was a problem though, we had the american dream, but still felt a void. We had a child, the house, the cars, money, clothes, 401ks, health, our looks, and youth. So why werent we happy? The blame game started to ensue as arguments grew more frequent and expectations became unrealistic. We both became very deppressed and defensive. I felt a strong draw to learn about the Bible. I always considered myself a believer, but to be honest, i was immature and never really sought to know what God wanted for my life. I was interested in my will and my desire. I do believe i was saved because i believed in Jesus as Gods Son and had accepted this as truth in my heart.

What came next was a sanctification process full of the most pain, trauma, and uncertainty i have ever experienced in my life. God drew me to Him to seek answers and those answers were life changing and not easy. I started really seeking Him for the first time ever. But this is real life. Not a storybook. Im not going to tell you that after that everything went perfectly, because that is not what occured. While i was seeking the Lord, my wife was in denial about any faults of her own. Her heart was bitter and full of resentments. She blamed me for everything bad that ever happened in her life.

My drinking got worse and she spiraled further as well. The point of this story is not to tell you what i did, or she did wrong or right. This is a story about what God can do with imperfect humans that seek Him, repent, and pray. What i realized is that i had been relying on myself and my wife all those years to create my peace. I thought i was in control. I thought happiness was in the amount of money you make, or the car you drive, or the private school you can afford. I also thought that it was my job to make my wife happy, and the fact that i couldnt was killing me.

The problem was, there is only One who can fill this role for any human ;man or woman. God. Peace only comes from Him. Strength, direction, wisdom, decernment, patience, kindness, love, all come from Him. We just radiate what He gives us. And we cant get it unless we go to Him to get it first. Hes the source. Not us. I had it all wrong all those years. While i was going through a wake up call, my wife was digging in her heels. Things got worse.

She decided that she hated the town we lived in, and wanted to move to another state. I dropped my whole life to accomidate her. I left my friends, family, and carreer to start a new life with her and my daughter. I was trusting God for the first time in my life. Trying to seek His will for my life. She had secured a job there but i had not found anything in my feild yet. I spent the first summer as stay at home dad and the situation deteriorated quickly. My wife lost all respect for me, stopped being intimant with me, and ignored me for days at a time. I was taking care of my daughter very well and cooking and cleaning, all the while praying for God to change her heart and give me direction.

This doesnt mean i was without flaw while this was happening. Trust me, there were times when i broke down and drank too much. However, i was never violent or abusive in any way. My wife filed for divorce on my birthday at the end of summer. She also filed a temporary order of protection to have me removed from my own home because she knew i would never leave my daughter, and divorce wasnt a desire of my heart. I was escorted out of my home like a peice of garbage and criminal. There was no law broken. No report of abuse. No arrest. Just a simple piece of paper saying i had to leave my own home and child. I had 10 min to get my stuff.

I got a hotel room and cried like a baby. I was in shock. But God was with me. I felt the slightest bit of hope beneath all the pain. I decided i was going to pray, praise, and trust Him. Despite the morbid circumstance i was in. I drove 600 miles to my parents house and didnt eat for about 5 days. I was mourning. At one point, i thought i would die of a broken heart. I cried out to God for 5 days and finally when i couldnt take anymore the most peaceful feeling came over me. It was warm and like pure love. I immediately became joyful and hungry. He had never left me. Over the next month, God gave me my old job back. I continued to pay all the joint bills, and prayed, and then prayed some more. All this time not being able to talk with my daughter or wife.

Our victorian house had never sold so i had a house to live in. I had a bed on the floor, a chair, and a dinner plate. It was only my hope in God that got me through this. I aquired a lawyer to represent me at the hearing for the order of protection. I drove the 600 miles back and showed up in suit and tie. 5 min before we were to see the judge my wifes lawyer said my wife didnt want to go to court that day and that i was a good father. I didnt trust a system that would kick a father out of there own home with nothing to base it on so i agreed to postpone the hearing. It was my daughters birthday that day but i wasnt allowed to see her. I had gotten her a present and my wife accepted it in the parking lot of the courthouse with both lawyers present.

A few weeks went by and my wife agreed to let me have phone calls with my daughter. To hear her voice was worth more than all the ritches of the world. I think God used these hour long conversations as a way to chip at my wifes hardened heart. I was on speaker phone the whole time. I would use this oppurtunity to say hi to my wife and ask simple financial questions. I took what i could get. Slowly but surly, we started texting and talking again over the course of the next month. Even though at the time it was illegal for me to do so. Things looked hopeful and she dropped the temporay order of protection. That meant i could come visit my daughter.

After much planning and working overtime, i had the recources and time to drive the 600 miles to see my daughter for a week. The visit went well and everything seemed hopefull. My wife even spent time with me and my daughter doing family fun activities. I came back home feeling hopeful. I started to pursue my wife again. I read books, continued to pray, worked on my flaws, got in shape, and worked my butt off.

I sent her gifts, wrote her poetry, sent her extra money, and went above and beyond to give her my best despite the circumstance i was in. After doing this for months long distance, i finally asked her what the chances of her dropping the divorce were. It broke my heart to hear her tell me, 15% chance. She told me not to persue her anymore. My heart shattered. To be honest, i just couldnt do it anymore anyway. I felt like a fool for trying but i had to know that i did everything i could.

I met a woman a few days later that sparked a feeling in me i hadnt felt in years. We spent the next month dating and getting to know eachother. I finally felt like i could let go and be happy again, and not with my wife. I was honest with her about everything from the start. I planned another trip to see my daughter and when i arrived told my wife that i had met another woman and i wish her the best, and that i accepted her decision to divorce and was moving on. She got enraged that i would move on so quickly of course, like i was the bad guy and blamed me again for everything. I chalked it up to control and jelousy at the time.

The next few days were tough. I tried to focus on my daughter but the tension between me and my wife was thick. The day i was leaving i asked to take my daughter to school. Surprisingly, my wife asked to go with me. I agreed and after we dropped off our little girl i pulled into an empty parking lot so we could talk. For the first time in years, i felt my wifes walls go down. All her defenses and pride were shattered. She showed me her heart and it was softened. She admitted her faults, and addmitted wrong doing. She admitted she still loved me and didnt want a divorce. We talked for hours just like we had when we first met. I told her that divorce was never my wish and that if she would drop the divorce, i would end it with the girl i was dating, that day. A beautiful thing happened in that empty parking lot that morning. A marriage was reconciled. Mistakes were made on both sides and forgivness and love prevailed. Prayers were answered. God restored what was broken.

It didnt happen the way i thought it would. Not in my timing. I had hoestly lost hope. But Gods faithfulness is perfect. His timing is perfect. He loved me and my wife unconditionally, regardless of our ability to handle things perfectly in the midst of the storm. The divorce dismisal was final a few days ago and ive spent much time with my wife sense that morning in that empty parking lot. Our love is stronger than ever. We have a new perpective of whats important. God has used our mistakes for good. He used it to transform us into better people. A better wife, a better husband. Better parents. God never gives up on us. Our hope is in Him alone. Not ourselves. We are human and flawed. Once i really understood this concept, its quite freeing. Only God can truly love unconditionally. And thank God He does. Or none of us would get to feel His love. Or radiate it. All the glory goes to Him.

This is a story of hope. It has a happy ending. Happy endings are rare these days, so i thought i would share for anyone going through a time in their life where they feel hopeless or abandoned. God is with you and loves you. He will never forsake you as his child.