I posted a similar question a week ago: http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/rebuilding-marriage-after-infidelity/discussions/messages/13714181. I feel like you do but also that I might be very sad if he doesn't do anything. I've done nothing so far, because what kind of card would really be appropriate for this situation? Can't wait until tomorrow is over. I used to love Valentine's Day. Another thing ruined by the affair.

I know how you feel! I feel almost everything is ruined from his affair. Until the weekend we were on a trial separtion (2 weeks). But all it did was cause me more stress. I have committed to myself to give us 6 months to move just a little bit toward the future. If I have no change and I am feeling so helpless after that point I will walk away. we are both doing IC counciling. I asked him to move back on Friday when my blood pressure rose to 189/118. The wondering what he was doing and the tracking of his phone just had me crazy. So he is back and I told him that i would try and I took all his tracking phone stuff off. Because if he wants to cheat again he will find a way. So this year Valentines is not a holiday for me.

I told mine to pick out her own card and sign it for me! I was being a smart ass, but it shows the hard emotions felt.

I am going to make the day about the kids. Dinner as a family, with gifts for the kids.

heatherd10-I totally understand your wishes to skip the day and not get a card from him. You are only 60 days out, the wounds are still very fresh and I am so very sorry you are going through this difficult time. (((HUGS)))

New Woman,
You said exactly my thoughts, "another thing ruined by the affair". I agree. I too used to love Valentine's Day until 2 years ago when it fell the day after Dday. It is a tough day for many and we are not alone. I bawled my eyes out last year, but I have told myself NO CRYING this year and so far so good. I am going to put a card on his pillow tonight that he won't see until he goes to bed (I am gone several nights a week assisting in the care of my 90 year old grandma, but will be home tomorrow night). I totally doubt he will get a card for me. The one I got was bought last year but I was very angry and bitter last Valentine's and got NOTHING from him and so I didn't even write in the card I got him last year. We had an early Valentine's dinner on Friday. I feel a lot different about Valentine's now, my attitude has changed with the progress we have made in the last 6 months in spite of some bumps in the road and turbulence as I like to call it. I think it takes a good 3-5 years personally to heal something like this. I believe the change in attitude for me is because we are 2 years out now, not to say that I am over it completely. I have learned that while forgiveness is possible, forgetfulness is not. I still days though, even 2 years out now, don't get me wrong. I can say it does get better, but it took me a long time to get to the place I am now. After 2 years I feel we are both trying to do our part to make the day a special day once again.

I am over 2 years out, so I'm further along some of you are, but I actually got my H three cards today because I couldn't pick. I still find that I just cannot buy cards that refer to soul mates, trust, honor, the best thing that ever happened to me, etc. Just can't do it. When it comes to cards, I usually go for the humor. Here's one example:

Front: "When you've been married as long as we have, you learn to accept the other person's faults."

Inside: "You'll understand this if I ever develop some. Happy Valentine's Day"

HA!

We never really gave Valentines day much meaning so I really haven't given it a thought, but for other occasions like birthdays, anniversary, it is very hard to pick a card that fits.

Natty, I love love that one. I didn't buy a card but did a few sweet things for him