Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity Community Group
A community for those who have been through the heartbreak of infidelity and decided to stay with their partner and try to re-build the relationship.
We had scheduled (last year) to take a family vacation with our extended family. We are supposed to leave this weekend and now at the last minute, H has to work and can't come with us. I feel confused because part of me was looking forward to some family time away from work and all the regular hassle of life, part of me feels like a week away from him might be a nice break, and a part of me thinks it will just be too easy for him to slip into his old habits and be in contact with OW with the kids and I out of town.
Have any of you had to deal with a similar situation?
I know it seems like if I cant trust him, then I should just leave him, but the truth is that even though I am not yet ready to give up on the marriage, I also dont really trust him. Sad but true. He has lied many many times not just during the 8 month affair, but during our six months so far of recovery. He claims he has been nothing but truthful since the first week in June, but who really knows? All those months that he was still lying, he always said he was telling the truth, so...???
The kids would be devastated to miss the vacation with all their cousins, so I cant really just stay home as a group.
I know its trrational, I just feel like with me far away and him all alone that he will once again think he can stray and that I'll never know. I HATE THAT FEELING! Does it ever go away?? The worrying, wondering, always thinking -- how can my beloved husband have behaved this way??? If he did it before, doesnt that mean that hes capable of it and could do it again?
She refuses to stop contacting him - even though he and I have both made it very clear to her that it is over forever. He changed his email and cel number to get away from her contact, and she called a mutual friend (who doesnt know aboout the A) to get his new info. She also knows where we live and I wouldnt put it past her to come by our cul-de-sac.
I am saving all her emails and phone messages and am looking in to how to get a restraining order. But I know that hubby feels very guilty about "hurting her" and who knows how she could still manipulate him or what feelings he really has for her.
Thanks for any insight.
Have any of you had to deal with a similar situation?
I know it seems like if I cant trust him, then I should just leave him, but the truth is that even though I am not yet ready to give up on the marriage, I also dont really trust him. Sad but true. He has lied many many times not just during the 8 month affair, but during our six months so far of recovery. He claims he has been nothing but truthful since the first week in June, but who really knows? All those months that he was still lying, he always said he was telling the truth, so...???
The kids would be devastated to miss the vacation with all their cousins, so I cant really just stay home as a group.
I know its trrational, I just feel like with me far away and him all alone that he will once again think he can stray and that I'll never know. I HATE THAT FEELING! Does it ever go away?? The worrying, wondering, always thinking -- how can my beloved husband have behaved this way??? If he did it before, doesnt that mean that hes capable of it and could do it again?
She refuses to stop contacting him - even though he and I have both made it very clear to her that it is over forever. He changed his email and cel number to get away from her contact, and she called a mutual friend (who doesnt know aboout the A) to get his new info. She also knows where we live and I wouldnt put it past her to come by our cul-de-sac.
I am saving all her emails and phone messages and am looking in to how to get a restraining order. But I know that hubby feels very guilty about "hurting her" and who knows how she could still manipulate him or what feelings he really has for her.
Thanks for any insight.
Go and have a good time!!
We do have a restraining order against the ow and she was fired as well. It made all the difference in the world as she was attacking and harassing by email and it was difficult for me to move forward with her continued persistency...even though my h was totally ignoring her at that point...I can give you advice on that if you want. Depending on who she is contacting that is who will have to file for the order. In our case she was contacting my h by email and text but most of her attacking was against me...so the judge made me a protected person in his order.
Hugs to you! T
Thanks you all for your advice and support. I will have my computer with me on the trip and will be checking in.
Good luck to all of you in your struggles and triumphs today.