So, my H and I had a somewhat tough week. That huge trigger last Sunday, the recovery from that. It had repercussions for my H as well...guilt flare up, angst about being able to perform. (no problems BTW)

So, we talked a little bit, and calmed each other down. Move on, let the bad days go etc.

Yesterday, he came home and we were eating dinner. He was talking about his day at work...lots going on. I have to mention for clarity, he just got new glasses, and he's been coloring his goatee. He's a red head, virtually NO gray on his head, but his facial hair is almost completely gray. So we bought some "Just for Men" in the lightest shade they have (recommended by my hair dresser) and tried it. He only leaves it on a couple of minutes and there are still gray hairs, so it looks very natural. No one at work has said anything to him, and no one noticed his new glasses.

So, he is in the back where the shipping department is. It's a woman who runs that department...I've met her many times. She's a gas, plain and simple. Funny as hell. Not married. I think she is a bit older than my H. So, he decides to ask her if she notices anything different. Nope, so he says, well, I got new glasses. And, can you tell I've been coloring my goatee? She's surprised, says no, it doesn't look fake etc.

Now, he's telling me this as we're eating. I could have just smashed my plate right into his face. Talking, together, no one else around, "friendship". Pissed me off big time, and I called him on it. Left the room, cooled off, came back downstairs and asked him if he could possibly be any more stupid?? Didn't he remember what led to the affair in the first place? A FRIENDSHIP! WTF!!!!!!!!!

He went upstairs and was just mortified. I followed him after I cooled off again and we talked. He said, "I've never thought of her that way". Well, I told him, "What if she thought THAT way about YOU?" Hmm, he'd never thought of that.

I asked him if he had any clue how attractive he could be to a woman. He was honestly surprised. So I explained to him, he's good looking, takes good care of himself, well dressed, kind, hard worker, generous etc. He doesn't see himself that way. He apologized profusely for being so stupid, for not one time thinking that his actions were over the line. For not thinking that he could lead another woman on in any way.

I've not seem him look so dismayed in a long time. He was really amazed that he could be so stupid and not have a clue or any idea until I brought it up.

No matter how much progress you make, there is still so much potential for stupidity.

So, we're ok. I don't for one minute consider this woman to be a threat in any way. I thought I would share the story to remind you all that we are only human, and can be completely blind to dangerous behavior.