So...

I've sort of talked about some of the back and forth discussions that my husband and I have had regarding renewing vows. I'm not sure if I mentioned it, but I stopped wearing my rings sometime after DDAY. At one point, he put them back on my finger and I wore them for awhile, but I told him that they didn't have the same meaning.

At one point, I mentioned to him that I might want a new set. I think the discussion came up here (or some other support forum? I forget...) and a lot of folks were pretty dismayed that I couldn't just accept the rings I had and that by trading up/trading out the old set, I myself was dismissing the vows I'd made. I never did see eye to eye with that perspective, but eventually a suggestion that I have my old set remade anew using the same stones but in a different setting seemed like a good idea.

Well, between being busy and having other financial matters take priority, the ring discussion just got shuffled completely off into the nether. I have actually put some weight on so wearing my rings was uncomfortable and unrealistic, anyway, and so I just never wore them and he never said anything and on we went. It's not that I stopped caring, it just wasn't that important, anymore. I know we're married, he knows we're married and I didn't need a ring to really show it.

That said, it was always a little tiny ache in my heart. I had always hoped he'd at least take my old set, get them resized, and maybe put a romantic inscription or something inside them. I didn't need a big, expensive fabulous set, I needed a gesture.

So... DDAY came and went. I tipped my hat to it in my own way and didn't bring it up at all to my husband. He didn't acknowledge it, but as many others here have mentioned/discovered, DDAY isn't a "thing" for those who had the affair. My birthday came and went - and yes, we had a lovely few days at a VERY stormy beach - and then Christmas came and went, and it felt like we had sailed the potentially difficult waters without too much stress. I would say this holiday season was mostly pleasant and relaxed.

With holidays and birthdays piling up right before our anniversary, I didn't expect yesterday to be much more than dinner and time spent together. I didn't actually have the funds to buy him some extravagant present, so I just did something small (small gender neutral floral arrangement, lil surprise sexy time, breakfast in bed, etc.) each day for the week leading up to our anniversary. I didn't expect he had much in the ways of gift funds, either, so I wasn't expecting a gift.

So yesterday morning after I took him out for breakfast, he asked if I wanted my present "now or tonight at dinner"? I told him whichever he wanted, but I could tell (his hands were behind his back lol) that he wanted me to say NOW.

And then...

He got down on one knee...

You know, that should have clued me in, but I didn't quite get it at first...

And he handed me a small bag. I opened it and inside was a box, at which point I put the one-knee clue together and realized... OMG...

And opened the box...

My heart melted. And I cried. I mean, good cried, you know? The "You just touched my squishy center!" tears. :) Inside was a lovely anniversary band. Small, simple, solid, subtle, just enough sparkle. It's me. It's us. It's our life together.

I don't need the big gestures every day or every year, but they sure are nice once in awhile.