Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity Community Group

A community for those who have been through the heartbreak of infidelity and decided to stay with their partner and try to re-build the relationship.

339 Members

3,364 Posts

0 Online

cecbpc 07/13/2011

My husband travels at times for his job and I've always worried about him travelng and something happening as in an accident or something like that. I've gotten better over the years and had finally got to the point where it was in perspective and then I found out about the affair. Well, since then I've begun worrying again. What I'm worried about is that if something did happen to him, we'd never get the chance to make things better and have good memories. I'd be left knowing that we were working on the affair and still have that big question mark.

As morbid as it is I also worry about the OW showing up and telling me stuff that could never verfiy with my husband.

So, do you think I should lock myself up and throw away the key?? Saying it or typing it makes me realize that I shouldn't worry about these things but there is a part of me that still does. Does anyone else have fears like this?

deleted_user 07/13/2011

Are you seeing a therapist for the A? If so I would bring these fears up to she/he.

deleted_user 07/13/2011

Unfortunately, this is all normal because of the A. My H still works with the OW and a little over a year later I still have panic attacks. We're in a much better place than we were a year ago, but I can't help but think that for a whole year I did not know my H. If you're really worried about something serious happening to your H, let him know that this is a crazy time for you both, but your in it to make it work (are you?). AS far as the OW showing up? Doubtful - they only do well under secrets & lies. She'd crumble as she stood before you.

Just know that you're not alone - we're here to support, help & give you hugs all along the way!

deleted_user 07/13/2011

I'm sorry you're feeling so worried. But no, you're not crazy. I think there's a huge range of emotions that are considered completely normal after going through the kind of trauma an A puts you through. Hugs!!!!!

cecbpc 07/13/2011

Thank you. Yes we are seeing a MC and she said it was normal because I suffered a trauma and would worry about a loss and it could be any type of loss. I just so happen to worry about him dying. She said this trauma brought up a previous trauma which I had several family members die in a short period of time including my mother.

When I get the morbid thoughts that something might happen to my husband I worry about OW showing up at funeral etc. I think it's just because I don't feel like we are 100% and am still insecure.

It really stinks how affairs affect so many different parts of our lives. Our spouses were clearly not thinking rationally because I can't imagine it was worth it.

Join the Conversation