Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity Community Group
A community for those who have been through the heartbreak of infidelity and decided to stay with their partner and try to re-build the relationship.
What are your thoughts? I know this has come up in various places in the past regarding infidelity, but a lot of the topics were years old, so I wanted some fresh insight.
I've only done a little bit of research. Some people say they're stupid because you only should have to commit once and that's that. Other people say it's a shame fest to embarrass and humiliate the CS into admitting his/her wrong in front of friends and family. Still others say it can be an integral part of healing.
I know many couples have recommitment ceremonies even if there has been no infidelity (20+ years of marriage - it's nice to have your spouse say, "Yep, I'd do it all over again, even though we've changed so much.") I know many couples actually divorce after infidelity but then find their way back to each other and rather than calling it a "wedding" they call it recommittment and/or "vow renewal". Mostly, I think I'm more thinking about post recovery vow renewal, even though H and I will be married 18 years in January, but I'm happy to hear everyone's two cents, regardless.
I've only done a little bit of research. Some people say they're stupid because you only should have to commit once and that's that. Other people say it's a shame fest to embarrass and humiliate the CS into admitting his/her wrong in front of friends and family. Still others say it can be an integral part of healing.
I know many couples have recommitment ceremonies even if there has been no infidelity (20+ years of marriage - it's nice to have your spouse say, "Yep, I'd do it all over again, even though we've changed so much.") I know many couples actually divorce after infidelity but then find their way back to each other and rather than calling it a "wedding" they call it recommittment and/or "vow renewal". Mostly, I think I'm more thinking about post recovery vow renewal, even though H and I will be married 18 years in January, but I'm happy to hear everyone's two cents, regardless.
H hasn't said anything more about it, so maybe it was a passing whim. If it's still something on my mind in a couple of years, I'll revisit it. I think if he wanted to re-exchange vows somewhere romantic and secluded (one of our backpacking trips, maybe?) I'd fall all over myself with the romantic notion. We used to recommit every year at our anniversary when we'd re-light our unity candle in celebration, but we haven't done that for more than a decade. Maybe that alone would be a nice tradition to bring back up again. (Except the unity candle died a horrid death by toddler, which is why we stopped doing it. Heh.)
H hasn't mentioned anything more about it since our weird dinner conversation, so I guess it was just a passing thought to him. I doubt it'll be revisited, but if it is, at least I've had time to mull it over and get opinions.