Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity Community Group

A community for those who have been through the heartbreak of infidelity and decided to stay with their partner and try to re-build the relationship.

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changedmylife 07/23/2009

Haven't been on in a while but a ? has come up for me and I thought I could use some advice. A former person contacted me the other day to see if I had a contact # or way of getting in touch with H's OW. Remember she was a friend of mine and this person still thinks she is. How should I respond? I want to tell her what happened. To me the more that know the better or should I just say, we are no longer friends. Then she will ask questions and then tell her? Thoughts please. Thanks

deleted_user 07/23/2009

i would give her the contact number. i don't think i would offer any information on my own, but if i was asked a direct question, i would have to be honest.

lovingagain 07/23/2009

Well, you could simply you don't talk anymore, but could still give the contact info if you have it. If you think that would be weird, because then the OW would know you had talked to this other person, you could simply say you didn't have any contact info anymore.

I probably wouldn't say anything...I never told anyone except our counselor and one of my sister-in-laws. No friends know, and no one on my side of the family. I never saw a benefit from telling everyone our personal business, especially since we stayed together.

deleted_user 07/23/2009

loving-

i have been very careful of who i share my affair information with also. none of our family knows, and only a few friends know. some we went to for help as a couple, and then there are a few of my intimate friends that i have chosen to confide in, but a lot like you, i have kept this information to myself, or as much btw. the two of us as possible.

DeidreRenee 07/23/2009

I have only told two people, my mother and my sister because I needed advice and my H told one of his sisters who in turn told another sister but thats where it stopped. (I think). My H is the oldest of 10 kids so who knows how far it went. But it wasn't our doing.

How ever, if someone had asked me for the OW information I would just tell them I don't associate with her anymore there fore I don't have any info to give. Of course they will ask why and then its up to you to answer or to just say its private and I don't want to talk about it.

deleted_user 07/23/2009

It's very unfortuante but way too many people know about our personal situation around town and it has been quite embarassing and humiliating for both families involved. We live in a fairly small town so hurtful gossip spreads like wildfire. Thankfully, things have settled down and the families are healing.

I agree with the others, just give her contact info if you still have it and don't share anything further. There are ways to get around sharing too much. Good luck :)

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