I am so sorry for your pain and I know you are going through a very difficult time right now. No one deserves this and I'm tired of words. His actions better show you that he really needs you. Wouldn't it be nice if we could all get the strength to just walk away from this crazy stuff and live life to its fullest with people that respect us for who and what we are? Know that your pain is felt by a lot of us and lots of hugs your way.

Believe thanks for your support. I also wish we all had the strenght to walk away. I consifer myself a strong woman, independent but when it comes to my marriage I'm just a weak woman hoping for things to get better.

Hi Player ... it's not weakness to stay. In many respects, it takes a lot more strength to rebuild a marriage with someone who has caused so much pain.

My H was very angry and defensive in the beginning - most are - so what you are going through is totally normal. As you discover more, he'll share more and hopefully the entire truth will come out eventually so you know what you're dealing with.

Hang in there! We're here for you. <<hugs>>

I am so sorry that you're going through this. It's terrible why you're here, but I'm glad that you have found this support system. Welcome!

It sounds as though you went into shock upon discovery. That's very common, and your emotions are completely normal. It's difficult in the beginning to get the answers that you are seeking. The cheating spouse does not want to hurt you anymore and they also don't want to hold up that big mirror that admits what a jerk they've been to you.

Many, many hugs to you! Please take some time for yourself. Go for a walk / see a counselor / get a massage / take a bath. Just concentrate on the next 15 seconds of your life. Live in the moment.

I echo what everyone else has said. You are not weak! You love your H and you are giving your marriage your all. Even if it eventually fails, and I hope it doesn't, at least you will have no regrets because you tried your best! I think it's weak to just give up on a marriage without giving it a fighting chance!

With that said, I am so sorry about this little blow. Did you ask him to change the Skype account, shut down the old one to purge that picture and set up a new one with a picture of HIS FAMILY?!?! Sorry, that's what I would do, but that's up to you. Unfortunately, some CS have a tough time letting go of the OP because they love the feeling they get from the A. However, he needs to let her go completely....no contact....not even Skype! That's where you need to get strong. Insist on that if you haven't already, but stay calm. Most men shut down if they are yelled at or if their W is crying, etc. You have to stay calm so he hears you and knows you mean business!

We're all here for you and we're all in the same boat. Hang in there!

It was an emotional affair (or so I think), he says their was no physical intimacy, that they just bonded emotionally and became more than "friends". He kinda told me a little bit, he says he cut off all communication with her but seen that picture (it was a work event) as his Skype profile picture??? Yes it did sent me over the edge. I started questioning him more, I want to know everything, every single detail but he completely said "No Im not talking about it", when he said "NO" with so much force and power it just makes me think that he still cares about her. He eventually said he might tell me everything at another moment but not at the time. Call me crazy but for me to move forward I need to know everything, I dont want to discover things as I go along. I usually tried to stay calm cause he don't like the crying but he will hear me if I stay calm. I started emailing him how I feel cause then I'm not crying and I don't start a confrontation that will probably end with him shutting down.
Thanks everybody for the support......my family and friends offer me their support and their concerned and advise comes from their heart but they don't understand why I'm still here.....at least here all of us have gone through a similar situation and understand what each other is feeling and going through.

You absolutely have to stand your ground! My H had an EA. He tried to deny the seriousness of it and claimed to have stopped, but I had downloaded a spyware and confronted him with the proof. He too, at first was defensive/angry/tried even to blame my lack of attention for the
EA. I went through an entire month of hell while he did not even know if he wanted to stay in the marriage. I finally had enough and CALMLY told him I would give him a divorce if that is what he wanted, that I deserved better than he was giving me and as much as it would hurt, I would rather be alone than share him with another woman. That finally woke him up and I think he realized I meant it and he was going to lose me! His attitude changed from that day, there has been no more contact and I have passwords to all emails/accts etc. and the spyware stays on the laptop. They have to agree to work 100% on our marriages and be totally transparent or we will never heal. Don't back down. If he does still love you he will come around.

I'm not a big fan of ultimatums, but seems to me he needs one. You need one. You need and deserve to know once and for all where his allegiance lies and if he's willing to do the work in your marriage. If he doesn't want to talk about it, he's still hiding something in my opinion. My H is coming around to being more transparent, and he's told me some details, and his thing was internet stuff and he had a ONS but he's still hiding things. I think what they admit to is only the tip of the iceberg. We just have to decide what details we need and what we can live without. I'm still sorting through that maze of info in my own mind to try and make some kind of sense of it all. I'm not saying it's better, what my H did, but the emotional stuff would be harder to deal with I would think. At least, he TOLD me there was no emotional connection and I have to believe that for my own sanity. I caught it after only two weeks, but lord knows where it may have led if I hadn't. Anyway, I ramble as usual, but I think you deserve to know whatever details you need to heal your own wounds. It's always tough when there are innocent children involved. Makes us so very vulnerable. If I didn't have a six year old and a three year old I doubt I'd be willing to do all this work for someone who has taken me so much for granted and betrayed me in such a fashion. Sending healing thoughts your way. Hugs to you all.

I know it's hard for them to come clean with all the details of the affair for many reasons but what they don't understand is that we NEED details to try and move forward. I found that once I was finally "in the game" I wasn't going to be someone on the sidelines. I wanted all the details, every question answered and it was finally me that had some control over this situation. I kept saying to my husband " I'm a big girl and I can handle the truth". I waited so long for the truth to finally come out that now that I knew, I wanted it all out in the open. No more secrets, no more lies. I wanted to make decisions for myself. I never want to be kept in the dark again. He has a second chance and now we play by my rules.