I asked my H after watching the show "If it saved our marriage would YOU take a lie detector test?" and he said YES. I should feel comforted in some way but the ugly facts are what plague my mind. I know a lot of the details and knowing vs. not knowing isn't what's getting to me, it's HOW could you do this to me and the family?????? I resisted temptation when you wern't there for me, but you could think so lil of me and the children. OUCH.......

OMG, I totally did! This was before he told me EVERYTHING (well I doubt I'll ever know everything but enough to make me sick). He said yes then no because he would be too nervous. Now that he has stopped lying he says he will definitely take one.

Why couldn't he have changed his mind and NOT gone into that motel room???? Why couldn't he have stopped himself from destroying our marriage??? He has been cheating like 3 times a month for the last 6 months!!!!!!!!!!! He says he felt sick and wanted to end it, that he was drowning but didn't know how to get out of it. How completely lame is that???? It's pathetic and he's pathetic and weak.

They are all pathetic and weak. The real question now, that he is willing to take a test is... are you going to set it up and see if he really takes one and it isn't talk or just take his word for it. I set it up and he took one.

So what did it say?????? What was it you wanted to know? Did you get the answers you were lookikng for? Was he truthful?

For me, between talking to him and OW I pretty much know all the sickening details. I really wanted to know if he slept with her, YES, if he ever told her he loved her, NO (she said he said he loved hanging out with her), if they used protection, YES, (he still is going to Dr for AIDS and STD panel) and when they started sleeping together, MARCH.

Why is it that even though it sickens me to hear about it, I need to know the details?? Does anyone else feel this way??

No because I don't believe my husband is lying NOW!! But since he does have some memory loss I have asked him to go to a hypontism (??) to see if we can find out just what he can't remember. He tells me no problem, he'll go if that's what I want.

Does that really work tearful??? My H actually wants to ask our marriage counselor if he can tape his alone sessions because he wants me to know everything and fears he won't remember all of it. Since I just found out and have no trust in him whatsoever, my first reaction was definitely. But then I thought about it and I do not think that is healthy, maybe there are some things he needs to talk about with someone other than me. Someone he WON'T sleep with.

Kerri, I don't know if it works. I know some people have done it and swear by it. It has been 15 months since I found out and 5 years since the last sexual contact. Maybe he really can't remember, maybe I don't really want to know any more. He tells me he has screwed up big time, I guess that should be enough. I don't think your husband needs to tape his meeting, just tell him when you ask a question, to be honest. You won't need every little detail that's why it's so important our cheaters answer what we ask.

When I asked, mine said he would happily take the test. That was more of a relief to me then an actual test. We have never gone thru it simply because if I do catch him lying, I dont know if I could handle it. At this stage for us, unless he was still cheating, there really isnt anything I dont know or that he would have to lie about. For me, is it really worth digging up a past I already know and reopening the wound?

Funny, I waS just talking about this the other day. I have not asked my H to take the test. I think he would pass with flying colors, but I think his answers would be reaffirming to me. I think I need to ask him if he would.

My H passed all parts. There was one inconsistancy, but it was talked about and I understand why. It makes me feel 100% better knowing that he is and was telling me the truth. I really didn't think he would go through with it. The main reason I had him take it was that the OW has lied about several things and I wasn't sure if he was being completely honest with me. I can now hold my head up, I knew she was a liar, now I really know and am thankful. What I would love would be to give her the test. She wouldn't take it though I am sure because bottom line..she knows she has lied and it would make her look even worse than she does now.

Where do you call to get it taken if you want it done and what is the cost?

Leany, we know someone who knows a professional that does this for a living. Our cost was 175.00 well worth it. I do not know if that is real cost or what he charged us. Ask around your area or see if it is in the yellow pages or google it. Good luck if you do it.

He wouldn't take one. I wouldn't even ask. He would lie through the whole damned thing. He has become the master at lying. It is really pathetic.

I have no desire or need to have my H take a lie detector test nor does he have a desire or need for me to take one. As we've been rebuilding and healing for 16 months now and a test at this point in our recovery wouldn't benefit either one of us. We've made our peace with eachother and it's healing and rebuilding from here on out. BUT since I am also known as the OW, I might consider taking the test if my former friend asked me to. I'd be willing to help her in the healing and recovery process if she'd be willing to pay for the test. That's how completely remorseful and shameful I am about my actions in the past.

After my last DDay, I told my husband I wanted him to take one. Up to that point he had on said they were "friends". It must have scared him because he told (some of) the truth about 2 weeks later.