So sorry! No reason you cannot post here regarding ongoing feelings! We are your friends and are here to support you through this phase as well!
His decision to leave is part of the infidelity process and does not require that you switch to a different site right away. Perhaps rebuilding is not the correct one but there are many others. please consider staying with friends you know for awhile.

Morgan, I wish I knew what to say. I'm sooo sorry. I know how hard you've tried to make this work. You've done the hard stuff by trying to work through this and forgive and now it seems like he's taking the easy way out. Some day I'm sure he'll realize what he's given up. You're in my thoughts. Big hugs to you.
kristin

OMG! Morgan, have you joined AL Anon? I joined after my H came home from rehab, It's been a lifesaver for me. Well that and my therapist and DS friends.

Big hugs to you, Morgan. I am so sorry. Sometimes I'm afraid my H will do that. He has no patience w/ this. Just wants me to turn off the tears, let it go and get on w/ life!

I hope you continue membership in Women who survived infidelity room. Pianogirl and others in the room will be a great resource to you. I know this has got to hurt but I know you are a strong woman and will go on to have a happy life. Marriage is important but it is not the end all and be all route to happiness. Take good care of yourself and your kids. Join a divorce support group. Unlike infidelity they are easily found in the real world. And one Texas girl to another, kick his ass to the curb and go buy a big dog and a gun.

Morgan, I'm also so sorry that it didn't work out... I know how hard you tried. I also know that you've started on the journey to self discovery and you're a step ahead of the rest... Best wishes to you and your kids.

Morgan...I am so sorry for your pain. Like Texy mentioned,please stay in the Women Who Survived Infidelity room. We are here for you..
I hope you will find your peace and comfort in the days to come!

Morgan.... I agree with everyone here... I am so sorry that you are in such pain. You have tried so hard ....and struggled with his betrayal... but now, you just have to give it up to God....
I KNOW.....that one day your husband will realize all that he has lost... a wonderful, loyal, forgiving wife...and his family....for what? pure selfishness.....he will have tons of regrets.... but you need to remember that you have nothing to regret...you have lived your life well..and will continue to survive this...and thrive...
God's plan is for you to be happy!

OMG. I am SO sorry. I have watched your posts over the past few months and know the pain you are in. I think your H is taking the easy route and giving up. Ad jrsygrl13 says, he will one day ( and one day soon) realize that you and your family ARE worth fighting for. In the meantime, don't go away. We are still here for you and support you. And while your H is fighting his own demons, you have an opportunity to find who YOU are and become the strong woman that WE know you are. When HE comes back, then you can make the decision whether to let him back in your life.

Take care.

You really need to talk to an addiction counselor or get involved with AL ANON. Addicts go through many things in rehab, and becoming totally self-absorbed is pretty much necessary to recovery. His needs, as far as the addiction go, will take over his life for at least a few months.

He won't be able to "give" anything to you or the relationship until he can take care of himself.

These are two different issues, and combined, they are plain overwhelming. Understanding the addict is vital for you to understand why he is reacting this way. Please talk to someone who is trained in addictions and recovery.

Thank you all so much for your support.

I was so happy to FINALLY be past the crying-every-day stage. And now I seem to be crying all the time. I know it will pass, I am just adjusting to what will be yet another unbelievable version of my life that I have had no say in.

And I am dreading dreading dreading telling the kids.

Loving - my husband went to treatment to see if he could open up emotionally, not for an addiction to drugs or alcohol. He is incredily closed off and went to an intensive treatment center to get help -- and it has opened him up -- but only to his friends from the center. To me he is more closed off than ever - I think he just decided to be done with me while he was away. He says it's too painful to be around me because he knows how much he hurt me. Last night he actually said "he would rather not have to look at me". That really hurt.

I guess if he stays with me then he knows that he's always a guy who did this horrible thing - and somehow he thinks if he starts fresh then I guess he gets a new wife who gets to just adore him without the hurt, the way I used to be.

Your guys love and support means more to me than you can imagine - so thank you.

Hugs,

Morgan

Without knowing all the details, his comments sound like a cop-out. If he really wants out, then he should be man enough to say so, not try to make it sound noble, "It's too painful to be around you because of how much he hurt you...".

That, IMO, is a very typical "poor me, I can't do anything right" attitude that many men have. If his treatment was to truly to help him "open up", that opening up must apply to his opening up to himself most of all. If he really did that, he would face the fact that he just plain may want out of the marriage. His choice, his motive.

By making it sound like he's thinking of you and how much he hurt you, he is making himself the victim. Call him on it.

Morgan

I'm so sorry!

The LORD will only give you what you can handle, and he is with you always!

Please keep in touch and let us know how your doing!

I'm praying for you and your family!

The saddest thing about it is, I don't think he really wants out of the marriage.

He had the affair because his self esteem was in the toilet and now his self esteem is lower than ever.

He believes he is a loser who can never be there for me or "do anything right". He said he feels like he is dying. That all he wants is the marriage back "the way it was before he broke it" and he knows we can never go back to that and it is killing him and he feels unable to make things better.

We didn't have a bad marriage. He got into a bad place and didn't want to seem like less of a man by sharing his problems with me. And now we are in this impossible situation where he can't stand being with me - because he knows he broke my heart.

Believe me, it's hard for me to be with him, too. But I guess I am trying to see it within the context of our whole lives together and not just our current nightmare.

He is so smart and talented and wonderful. He just doesn't see himself that way. It's bad programming left over from his childhood. I wsh he could see himself the way I see him and other people see him and then maybe he could feel better about himself.

But I can't change his mind about anything. Believe me - I have tried!

Hugs,

Morgan