I agree, I never noticed it until it effected me. I also want to say, why is it the BS is always an "ice queen", "unable to be in their own" or "super abusive" and the CS can't leave... Ugh

I love how Hollywood glamorizes cheating

I was watching The Other Women, a comedy with Cameron Diaz. My H came in and watched for a few minutes... Let's just say, he got up and walked out as soon as he realized what it was about.

I think this is such an important topic that definitley needs to be out in the open - unless one has walked in the shoes of a bs, cs or anyone who has felt the direct hit from the riople effect, one cannot possibly understand the depth of destruction.
I, too, am one who until infidelity became a part of out lives, I never really noticed just HOW prevalent, "glamorized" and accepted it was in our society.

There's a lot of crap out there, but also plenty of truthful messages too. I think it really depends on who the creative force is behind the media you consume. Also interesting what people pick up on. There was someone on the CA board awhile back who claimed she was led into being OW because of how infidelity was glamorized. Then someone else pointed out that very few OW on tv and in movies end up well. I guess she paid attention to the fun part and glossed over the consequences at the end.

To be fair, soap operas have been ridden with cheating since the down of the genre - and I never took such great offense until it hit home with me.

I suppose the same could be said of any trauma. I never thought much about miscarriage until I had one. I never thought all that much about Mothers/Fathers Day ads until my parents were both dead.

I won't lie, though, I do feel sort of ... appeased? when the pain of the betrayed spouse is appropriately shown. I think even when the unfaithful spouse goes on to live with the affair partner (happily ever after??) it feels "okay" as long as the betrayed spouse's anguish is at least acknowledged.

But yeah... portraying one person in one color always irks me. Oh, yeah, the dude cheating of COURSE is a skeezy, lying, backstabbing jerk... and that's all he is. Yep. And the woman who is cheating is just sooo terribly lonely she couldn't help herself and deserved the chance to be with another man who doesn't abuse and neglect her. Fah. No one is that one dimensional. No one. Folks may lean one way or another on a spectrum, but we're humans, not characters in a story.

The "ice queen" thing cracks me up. My husband and I have known a LOT of couples. Weirdly, the guys who have stayed most faithful were married to "ice queens"/mean b*tches/white bread virginesques. Sure, the guys would sometimes gripe - "I wish my wife was sexier, more interested, nicer, etc." but they stayed anyway. I often wondered if they were addicted to the "chase" - so they didn't need to chase strangers, they got to chase their own unobtainable wives!