Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity Community Group
A community for those who have been through the heartbreak of infidelity and decided to stay with their partner and try to re-build the relationship.
Just to refresh...my H's affair was with a co-worker. It started as an EA that lasted about a year, then turned physical, which also lasted about a year. This was between 2005-2006 near as I can remember. It's been totally over since then, there is no contact except the few times he has to see her in work related stuff. Very rare, and he always tells me.
Anyway, the company he works for has laid off a bunch of folks this year. Yesterday they laid off 10 more people.
I actually hoped he would tell me that she had been one of those who lost their jobs. Jobs here are terrible, and I would never wish that on anyone. But for a little while I did wish she was one of them. Then I felt terrible. She has a really stupid X husband (bad marriage for years and it had nothing to do with my H). She has 2 daughters who I think are both in college at this point.
I felt so crummy that I wished unemployment on anyone, even her. She felt just as horrible about the A, and the end of their A was just as much her decision as his. I know this person, she isn't your typical whore, just someone who was hurting like crazy and was there when we were in that dark place. She's never tried to get back into his life and has respected his wish to have no contact.
Just venting here...lots of emotion was flowing here yesterday, the most important that my H's job could be in trouble, after 29 years at the same place. I'm scared to death, as is he.
Anyway, the company he works for has laid off a bunch of folks this year. Yesterday they laid off 10 more people.
I actually hoped he would tell me that she had been one of those who lost their jobs. Jobs here are terrible, and I would never wish that on anyone. But for a little while I did wish she was one of them. Then I felt terrible. She has a really stupid X husband (bad marriage for years and it had nothing to do with my H). She has 2 daughters who I think are both in college at this point.
I felt so crummy that I wished unemployment on anyone, even her. She felt just as horrible about the A, and the end of their A was just as much her decision as his. I know this person, she isn't your typical whore, just someone who was hurting like crazy and was there when we were in that dark place. She's never tried to get back into his life and has respected his wish to have no contact.
Just venting here...lots of emotion was flowing here yesterday, the most important that my H's job could be in trouble, after 29 years at the same place. I'm scared to death, as is he.
Yeah. Hard times ... my wife works in the manufacturing sector. It's scary all right. But we're Americans we're good at solutions in the face of bad times. I sometimes think we're at our worst in good times ...
The economy is very scary now. It is affecting many,many of us. But I agree with Yorick. We seem to rise above and get stronger in the bad times. I never thought of it like that before. Maybe it does make us rethink and become better people!
PS- I have these kinds of thoughts OFTEN, and I don't usually stop them until it has gotten pretty out of control.
I have them all the time and I really don't feel guilty at all. I know I am still a good person and that I am ok because at least I don't act on all of the offers from friends to "take care of her for me". I don't know how many people have offered to pay her a "visit" or knows someone who could pay her a "visit" and remove her from my life. I know that many of them are just joking, but I also know that some of them are serious. I also know that some of them have some relatives that are not quite high up on the social and moral ladder and would do something to her.
So I can run those thoughts through my head and be okay with it, as long as I don't take anyone up on their offers. :)