Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity Community Group
A community for those who have been through the heartbreak of infidelity and decided to stay with their partner and try to re-build the relationship.
Well, after 303 days since DDay, countless hours of expensive therapy, a weekend seminar away, journaling, meditating, spending time trying to connect or I guess re-connect...
I have to come to the final solution which is that my husband has no compassion for me. I am trying everything I can think of, over and over, and he just remains closed off, angry and avoiding, passive agressively torturing me, and somehow manages to make himself the victim in every thing that happens.
He has told me over and over again that if I'm upset or mad or sad that "he just can't deal with me" -- even though he is the one that made me that way.
It is an impossible situation.
I am ashamed at the way we have spilled over into arguing in front of our children - I never thought I could behave that way.
It's amazing what we are capable of when pushed to an emtional breaking point. The other night at 2am after DAYS of him completely ignoring me, avoiding me, unwilling to respond as I pour my heart out to him -- I tell him what I need and he answers me with a cold glare and stony silence -- so I go nuts and start grabbing family photos off the shelf and smashing them.
Who behaves that way?
This is not good for me or my kids. I feel like I have done one hundred per cent of my part in trying to heal, but he hasn't and I can't do it alone.
I appreciate all of the love and support I have gotten from everyone on this board. Some days it felt like DS was the only thing getting me thru the day. I'm sure that will be even more true as I go thru a divorce.
Hugs,
Morgan
I have to come to the final solution which is that my husband has no compassion for me. I am trying everything I can think of, over and over, and he just remains closed off, angry and avoiding, passive agressively torturing me, and somehow manages to make himself the victim in every thing that happens.
He has told me over and over again that if I'm upset or mad or sad that "he just can't deal with me" -- even though he is the one that made me that way.
It is an impossible situation.
I am ashamed at the way we have spilled over into arguing in front of our children - I never thought I could behave that way.
It's amazing what we are capable of when pushed to an emtional breaking point. The other night at 2am after DAYS of him completely ignoring me, avoiding me, unwilling to respond as I pour my heart out to him -- I tell him what I need and he answers me with a cold glare and stony silence -- so I go nuts and start grabbing family photos off the shelf and smashing them.
Who behaves that way?
This is not good for me or my kids. I feel like I have done one hundred per cent of my part in trying to heal, but he hasn't and I can't do it alone.
I appreciate all of the love and support I have gotten from everyone on this board. Some days it felt like DS was the only thing getting me thru the day. I'm sure that will be even more true as I go thru a divorce.
Hugs,
Morgan
Someone who is hurting beyond belief. I've done my share of destroying items. We had a collection of small "plates" that we got each year at our anniversary get-a-way place. They hung on the wall in our bedroom. When he admitted the EA, I took them down and dropped them out a second story window, just missing his car.
The night he confessed to the physical affair, I ripped his robe into shreds (I had made it for him), broke is favorite computer game and the special t-shirt that came with it. I tore up every card I could get my hands on that he had given me, and destroyed the paperwork & vows from our vow renewal that he set up for our 25th.
I'm sorry you've come to this decision, but trust your gut. And stick around here for support.
We're here for you.
Good Luck
Who behaves that way? Someone who has been completely distroyed, that's who! Don't be so hard on yourself. This is what we have been reduced too!
Crazy out of character behavior. I thank God everyday I did'nt kill him and his whore.
You're in my thoughts and prayers!
Now I get to feel like the REALLY stupid one, as the lawyer says to me "Why didn't you have him sign a pre-nup?" And I remember at the time saying, we don't need a pre-nup, we are REALLY in love. OMG. I am an idiot.
Anyway, when I spoke with the lawyer, the bad news only gets worse because since I have always made more money than him, I WILL HAVE TO PAY HIM when we get divorced. So...he cheats on me and then gets paid to break up the marriage.
Strange world we live in, isn't it?
Erin
I'm sorry Morgan I know how hard you tried. I'm here if you need me.
Thanks so much to everyone who wrote, thanks for your support. It means so much to me.
Hugs, Morgan
What I DON"T UNDERSTAND is how his collosal mistake, ruining my life, breaking my heart beyond recognisiton would not be followed with kindness and compassion! Would not be followed with consistent effort to heal!!!
I thought he really loved me...