Praise God for softening your heart to heal it, and for giving you a husband steadfast to stand by you through it. Blessings to you both in the new year!

Gabby - I cried last night, too. I got to kiss my H at midnight for the first time in I don't know how long, and it was so nice. Later we were having some, shall we say, intimate time, and I was having all these images flood my mind of him with the OW...I think I had too much to drink. lol Told him how I was afraid that he would get tired of me, that I didn't like how I looked and wondered if he got hung up on that, too, and how he could go from loving the OW to so strongly loving me again now.

He told me, Let's get the bad images out of your mind and make new memories together...I am here with you because I want to be. Nobody has a perfect body, we're all soft somewhere, we just have to not give up and do our best to get healthy. And what I had with OW wasn't real love, because love is more than just an emotion...it's you and me, it's our family, the babies, the house, the cats, the hot tub (a project we've worked on together), it's everything. And I love you and this year is going to be so much better than last year!

So last night I was crying because I was thinking about the A, now I am crying a little thinking about what he said and how God has changed his heart. God is good, all the time.

We let our kids stay up until midnight and were supposed to have sparkling cider, at 5 mins to Midnight I found myself on the bathroom floor crying. I could not toast 2011, this year almost killed me. My H didn't even come looking for me :(

I fully understand, Desire. It seems every four to five years, something major happens. Sometimes "good" but more frequently "bad." Well, 2011 will get chaulked up as one of the worse years of my life, even though I can look back at some good things and even some good things that have come from the affair. That said, I am very glad to see this year over and pray for brighter days ahead, as we continue to work through this. I know the journey is not over. I'm hoping the next few months leading up to May will not be too stressful. There is so much going on. April, our daughter is getting married, May our son is graduating HS, and we'll have our one year dday anniversary followed in three days by our 30th wedding anniversary.

But like my W, I am very glad we are still together and we are both moving forward in healing. One day at a time.