I guess the forgetting for you will last a long time since your H will be somewhat involved through out the life of his child. I feel for you. I have had a hard enough time with the whole aspect of his infidelity but to have a child remind of this A would be so much harder.

I don't know the story about the involvement your H had with the OW. Was it a long term A, a one nighter, etc? This truly will be a roller coaster ride for you. The first thing you need to do is have your Spouse cut all ties with the other person to even start to rebuild, but unfortuately this will not be the case for you.

You have a strength that I applaud you for. I don't know if I could do that. Did you and your H discuss together on how you two will be move forward in your marriage now that a child is on the way?

Well, the story is this....

My H worked graveyard and was going through some medical issue with his neck and wasn't able to help around the house or even do his job. I also work full time during the day. We share no kid togehter, just from past marriages. I have been a long time sufferer of pelvic pain and ended up in the hostipal up until that point it was just a EA. The night I was in the hostipal is the night he left me there alone and brought her to our home and slept with her in my room on my floor. That is the night she concieved. Shortly after that I found out and he kept the lies going and met with her 2 other times. The last time he was with her I packed all of his stuff and told him to get out. That is when he changed his mind. A few days later his Ex wife told me about the baby. There as been no contact that I no of since he choose to stay ing our marriage. However his Ex wife is always throwing the fact that he has a kid with the OW in my face. I have been trying to deal with this for the last 9 months and I also know the baby may belong to the OW H, though she claims it is not and is determined that it is my H. We have asked for a DNA test.

Well that's the first big step to get the DNA!!! Did this woman trap him by saying she was on birth control? I guess I can't imagine any man not using condoms when they have their little fling because of just this. Getting pregnant. I guess their brains are mush at the time of intercourse while their D##k is at attention. Does her H know about the A and when is the baby due?

As far as we can tell her H knows nothing. The Baby is due in 13 days, so she says, but then again we only have her word to go off of which really isn't much. We want DNA But I think we are going to have to go through the courts to get it. What a mess.

Why bother with DNA unless you really want to know or she is seeking child support? I don't know what the law is where you are, but in California if a married woman gets pregnant the child is presumed to be her husbands and he must support it unless he requests a DNA test or you do. Does your H want to have contact with the child? If you would prefer that this woman and her mess go away, I would just leave it alone. It she wants to prove the child is your Hs let her bear the expense and inconvenience of going to court.

I agree w/ you. I wouldn't press the issue and allow the woman's husband bear the suppport of the child. Otherwise, I gotta say this is really messed up.

I was the cheater in my relationship and I remember my OM on several occations trying to get me pregnant (tearing holes in the condum and acouple other underhand methods) in an attempt to make me pregnant so I would stay w/ him. It never happened though. Any way she's making up any of this to try and get him back?