It's 2 yrs. for me since d-day ...since finding out about my husband's LTA... and it has been an emotional roller coaster ride for me since then...
I am still capable of falling into very depressed moods when I think about it...
but like you...I have realized that staying in that dark place is not healthy....

A terrible thing happened in our lives...but..we need to realize that as we get older there is no way to avoid heartbreak, disappointment, and grief.....
it happens to everyone..everywhere...it just takes differet forms...for us it was infidelity...but everyone eventually has to deal with some kind of tragedy in their lives..

Will a mother who lost her only son in Iraq ever truly forget it? will she be able to be happy again? She is forever changed...and will feel the pain forever...but..she will go on...and find new happiness..

Will the young man paralyzed in an accident ever forget what happened and what he has lost? No.....
But..can he move forward and learn to forgive? and not be bitter? and actually find ways to enjoy life again? yes.....

When I think about tragedies like that..it makes me feel selfish and small in some ways...to continue to be so obsessed with thinking about how I feel about my husband's affair...

Sometimes I think that I just think too much..we all do... especially about ourselves..our problems..the past..and worry too much about the future.... am I making a mistake in staying? how will I feel about the affair in the future.....?

Maybe the answer is to just stay in the moment, live life one day at a time....be grateful for what we have ...and..most of all reach out to others less fortunate than we are... volunteer at a homeless shelter, a soup kitchen, help build a house with habitat for humanity...

Maybe that's the way to forget about our problems and see the bigger picture... in helping others we can ultimately help ourselves to heal....

I read this online and thought it was worth posting - it spoke to me

I Am Thankful

For The Wife Who Says It's Hot Dogs Tonight, Because She Is Home With Me, And Not Out With Someone Else.

For The Husband Who Is On The Sofa Being A Couch Potato, Because He Is Home With Me And Not Out At The Bars.

For The Teenager Who Is Complaining About Doing Dishes Because It Means She Is At Home, Not On The Streets.

For The Taxes I Pay Because It Means I Am Employed.

For The Mess To Clean After A Party Because It Means I Have Been Surrounded By Friends.

For The Clothes That Fit A Little Too Snug Because It Means I Have Enough To Eat.

For My Shadow That Watches Me Work Because It Means I Am Out In The Sunshine

For A Lawn That Needs Mowing, Windows That Need Cleaning, And Gutters That Need Fixing Because It Means I Have A Home.

For All The Complaining I Hear About The Government Because It Means We Have Freedom Of Speech..

For The Parking Spot I Find At The Far End Of The Parking Lot Because It Means I Am Capable Of Walking And I Have Been Blessed With Transportation .

For My Huge Heating Bill Because It Means I Am Warm.

For The Lady Behind Me In Church Who Sings Off Key Because It Means I Can Hear.

For The Pile Of Laundry And Ironing Because It Means I Have Clothes To Wear.

For Weariness And Aching Muscles At The End Of The Day Because It Means I Have Been Capable Of Working Hard.

For The Alarm That Goes Off In The Early Morning Hours Because It Means I Am Alive.

And Finally, For Too Much E-Mail Because It Means I Have Friends Who Are Thinking Of Me

So true....Morgan....we are blessed in many ways....
we will survive this and thrive....

Thanks Morgan, I love that... I copied it to word and am sending it out to those I care about...

I relish the time when I can live in the moment.

This is a lovely post, Morgan. Thanks.

Yes, thank you. Sometimes I think I spend more time focusing on the negatives of our relationship instead of the positives.

I also feel selfish thinking so much about my problems with all that is going on in the world. So many people have problems that by comparison to mine are so much more overwhelming. I try to focus on how well my H and I are doing at the moment but my mind can take a complete turn around just by hearing a song, seeing an advertisement or just about anything that reminds me about the A's. It still hasn't been a year and hopefully my pondering will start to ease up after March comes. Thanks for the post...I will try to be positive for the next whole day...and that might be hard since it is freezing and snowing outside and I feel like a trapped animal.