We went to Reno (only about a two hour drive for us) and got a hotel room with a huge jacuzzi tub.

Let me stress before I go on that I realize that everyone's budgets are different and each couple can afford different things.  Some folks are lucky enough to take cruises, some have to settle for picnics in the park, but - it is SO FREAKING IMPORTANT TO GO GET AWAY WITH YOUR SPOUSE.

I've read a lot of articles lately about, "date nights you can have in your own living room" and while some are cutsie and fun (and fairly reasonable to pull off if you don't have kids or if the kids are overnight somewhere) they just don't cut it all on their own.  They just don't.  GO OUT INTO THE WORLD, FOLKS.  It doesn't matter what you do or how you do it or what your budget is, it's just so vital to get away with your spouse.

There are a lot of reasons why this is essential, but here are a few from my own perspective:

1) When I am at home, I am not focusing 100% on my husband.  At least 15-20% of my attention is being pulled away by things that need to get done around the house.  I can't just sit and "picnic in the living room" because while we're sitting on the floor I'm thinking, "Ugh... dog hair... need to vaccuum.  I should do that now... no I mean, I won't, but... I mean maybe just for a second.  OK, well, I won't... let me just smile and him and pretend I'm listening for a bit and maybe that'll take my mind off... oh geeze, look at that! There are freaking CAT TOYS under the TV stand!  Well, I mean, I can listen to him while I fish them out, right?  Oh good, he's still talking, let me just smile and nod some more while I just inconspicuously tidy up this pile of books that someone left on the coffee table... and since I'm moving those around, I might as well dust underneath..." and pretty soon, I'm in full blown cleaning mode and even if he is still chatting away at me, I'm definitely not listening or participating.  Either that or I'm a wreck just sitting there thinking about all the stuff I should be doing instead.

And yes... I suppose I could do a full on clean up beforehand so I wouldn't be (in theory... hopefully...) worried about that, but then I'd be planning grocery lists or thinking about bills or worrying about ten million other things because guess what?  I work from home and so when I'm AT home I'm AT work.  I don't ever really clock out or relax the way that some folks do when they come home from their jobs.  I realize this isn't an issue for some people, but I imagine it does hit close to home for other people.

2) I feel flattered and cherished when my husband takes me OUT.  It is, whether he thinks of it this way or not, him "showing me off" to the rest of the world.  "Hey, look at the hot lady I have on my arm!"  And frankly, I like showing my husband off when we go out.  "Yeah ladies... you like that?  Too bad, he's MINE!" 

3) When we stay home, I'm in "work clothes" and I am NOT "putting my sexy on".  If you were to ask my husband, he'd say, "Oh, Allora looks hot all the time."  I feel confident it's a trained response.  Even though he may (in part) feel this way, I also know that when I put my hair up a certain way or work it with the eyeliner or put on that bra that makes the girls go, "oh hey there..." his whole attitude changes.  Suddenly, he wants to open doors for me and he puts his hand on the small of my back just so when a waiter gets too friendly in a way that says, "MINE" that I absolutely adore.  He may say he loves me in my tatty pajamas (and mean it) but I know he appreciates the extra effort when I put it in... and frankly?  I feel different, too.  When I've taken the time to doll up I'm also putting on an attitude of sex appeal and desire.  I'm working the hips and lowering my lashes and getting my flirty on in a way I don't when I'm in my tatty PJs.

4) There's something about being out in public that enhances my husband's manners.  Will he say "excuse me" if he burps at home?  Yeahhh.  I mean, probably.  Will he use a napkin, keep his elbows off the table, and refrain from tipping back in his chair?  Iffy.  At best.  It's sort of nice to have civilized company for awhile. ;) 

5) Going out gives us shared and memorable experiences.  Watching a movie at home may, at best, give us a, "Oh hey... we saw that movie..." if the movie was memorable, at least.  I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with cuddling up on the couch watching a movie, because there IS a time and place for it, but we also want vivid memories to carry with us.  We will clearly remember the time we were hiking and emerged out onto a huge herd of grazing buffalo.  That was definitely an, "oh... crap..." moment.  But you know - sort of in a good way.  And the time we sat on the beach and watched the sunset while we talked about what retirement would look for us?  Very memorable.  Or the time we snuck around on the upper floors of our hotel that was being renovated and poked around at all the tools and construction equipment after hours?  Yep.  Memorable.  (Yeah... we're trouble makers... heheh.)

6) Pushing comfort zones - appropriately.  It's a little hard to push comfort zones at home.  Cos, you know, we're at home.  Everyone has different comfort zones - for some folks, pushing those boundaries might be trying a new menu item or a new cuisine, for others it may be all out bungie jumping, but for us, it's simply being social.  We are both quiet hermits who keep to ourselves most of the time.  Even being asked by a bartender what my nerdy shirt says spins me into a pulse racing uncomfortable moment.  For my husband, he absolutely squirms when he has to do something he's not an "expert" in.  So, if we decide we're going to go to a wine & paint night, we're both going to be squirming - but also growing and learning.  And he's there to nudge me to form complete sentences someone asks me, "Oh so do you have kids?" and my inclination is to simply say, "yes" and turn awkwardly away.  I'm there to squeeze his hand and gush about how awesome his painting is, even if I can't tell which side is up.  It's awesome to support each other, and to expand our horizons and practice rusty (or often - non esistent) skill sets.  There is a bit of an endorphin rush in the fear that comes from doing this, too, which also amps up all those "love" feelings, especially when, in the end, everything turns out alright.

This is, of course, why "appropriately" is key here!  If we were to attend a HUGE 300 person dance party with strangers, we'd both be hiding in the car playing games on our phones.  Neither of us would feel comfortable, nor would we have fun.  We'd hate dressing up, we'd hate being around so many strangers, we'd hate dancing, we'd hate socializing in that environment, and we'd just be miserable. 

7) Exposure to new.  This might be new foods, new hobbies & interests, new friends, new places to hang out, new ideas, new beliefs, new ways of looking at the world... just new.  And fresh & new are freaking hard to capture while sitting at home looking at the same 4 walls (or the same TV) day after day.  New can be scary, but it can also be exciting and thought provoking and inspiring.

8) Actual commitment.  Here's our big one - how many times have we said, "Oh, yeah, that sounds like fun..." and then not followed through because stuff came up?  Well, a LOT if it's something we could do at home because, well, we can do it ANY time, it doesn't have to be at any specific time.  But if you buy concert tickets or make dinner reservations, or even just plan a picnic at the park, you probably have to make advanced plans to do so and it's a LOT harder to say, "Oh... well, we can just do that later..."  There's a greater follow through with actual plans that go on the actual calendar around our house.

9) Do what you can't do at home.  This is a big one for us.  I'm a fair cook, so I make a lot of cool dishes at home - but there are some things I can't - or won't - make at home either because of cost or difficulty or (more likely) cleanup.  I LOVE fondue, but I hate the prep and cleanup.  Yay for eating out!  My husband loves foo foo fancy girly drinks (yes... really LOL) but until he gets his mixologist certification (which maybe we will do together, someday heheh) it's a lot easier to just go out and get his flaming zebra on two legs (I totally just made that up...) out and about.  This could apply to playing raquetball (unless you're lucky enough to have a court in your house...) rock climbing or even people watching. 

10) Everything looks better in the right kind of light - and this includes your spouse.  Under the glow of romantic candle light or in the flickering shine of neon casino lights or in the bright shine as the day's first sunlight peeks over the horizon, your partner can seem like a whole other person - or just even more like the person you married and promised to love and cherish forever.

So give it a go... get on out of here. :)