Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity Community Group

A community for those who have been through the heartbreak of infidelity and decided to stay with their partner and try to re-build the relationship.

339 Members

3,364 Posts

0 Online

chewdy 10/13/2009

Has anyone every felt like they have had enough and that they have given the whole situation a chance , but need some big change to their life? Like moving on without the daily constant wondering if it is really over or will this happen again? H has really been giving me the attention that I need and always wanting to be with me and even planning a special night this Saterday for us. ( he has been planning it for a month)
The whole situation has just left me feeling like it has taken all the energy out of me to try to move forward..
We are suppose to go back to counseling this Thurs and start to work on building trust? I kind of feel like that is really a far reached goal right now. I have access to his phone pager and he hasa problem with giving me his work email Password. ( That right there has me doubt that the "EA is over" )
I just am feeling very unsettled and just feel like my heart is just not in it anymore. Any thoughts or suggestions?????

deleted_user 10/13/2009

I wouldn't like the fact that he want give you the password to his work e-mail. That's fishy to me.

If you end up back in counseling, I think this is one of the first things I would bring up. I would say everything that's on my mind in reference to the work email and the feeling you're having that the EA is still very much going on. IMPO, there's no reason for him not to give it to you. In a perfect home, where infidelity is not something a husband and wife are dealing with, then access to work email is not necessary. But that's in a normal, healthy, trusting relationship. This is not that. This is a whole different ball game!

chewdy 10/13/2009

I agree, I definatley think there is something he is hidding in the emails. I think that is why I am starting to pull myself away from this rebuilding our relationship. He told me he would do anything , but is resistive with the emails.

deleted_user 10/13/2009

Yes, and it would upset me, just as you are upset. If he's willing to do anything like he says, then he needs to give it up. If he want, it's been my experience, that something is being covered up. This is not good for re-building. Not in the least. I hope you will bring it up in your counseling session. Please keep us posted.

Best wishes.

lovingagain 10/14/2009

How does one share their work email? My husband's work email is not here, it's at work. I have no access to his work computer at all. Even if I were in the building, I wouldn't be allowed to be on his computer due to policy there.

That has never been an issue for me anyway. They didn't email or talk on the phone, they didn't need to since they both worked at the same place.

deleted_user 10/14/2009

My husband only used his work e-mail to maintain his affairs.

I now have his password for work too. It's very easy to check work emails at home.

Join the Conversation