If you don't know my H is overseas with the Army for a year, he left a little bit over a month ago. The OW is also in same overseas location but different jobs. He says their is NC and has seen a significant effort on his part to make things right and make them work. I have emailed them before and he is not big in writing long emails but he replied with short notes and we chat. In the last few days he haven't replied to my emails, no short notes or just saying Hi, we have chat and he has been upset cause his boss has a watchful eye on him (I have outed both of them before they left). I don't know if he is holding a grudge and angry at me, he says he is really busy at work but it wont take him but a minute to reply to my emails saying "I'm busy but thinking about you". My fears and insecurities are all resurfacing, I am anxious and nervous, I can't concentrate and I can't sleep. I'm trying to keep it together and don't sent him an angry message cause he don't respond well to anger, he communicates better if I remain calm but it's getting hard to remain calm and keep my composure. I'm loosing it and it's only a month and a half of a 12 month tour away from home, I don't know if I can do this. Some days I feel like I can handle it some other days it seems so difficult that I don't think that I can't deal with this overwhelming mixed of feelings and emotions. Aghhhhh.....frustrated, angry, sad, nervous and anxious!!!