Yesterday H hurt my feelings. While its a bit complicated it goes like this. Right now we have one car, because my mini van is being fixed. again. 4th altenater,,,oh never mind thats not part of story, lol. Anyway,, H always is home for lunch,,so yesterday ,instead of me taking him back to work after lunch, he took car, thinking kids would prob be able to walk or catch rides home,, we r like idk 10 blocks from hs,,, but there was a possibility of rain, which still wouldn't be horrible, except that on tue, thur and fri son has his guitar w him cuz he has jazz band before school those days. H said if it rains I can pick up kids,,, mind you is small town,,his work only 2 min drive from school. K. It started raining. I called H at 315, schools out at 335,, to give him heads up. He also had said at lunch that he would probably be done for the day about that time so wouldnt be any biggie. Well it was. He picked up kids, comes in house and the attmosphere is charged. Says if you want car, you'll have to take me back. we get in car,, cuz at this point idk if he gonna be another hour, or 4 and I will need the car to run kids. We're pulling out of drive I say whats wrong with you you're mad? Nothing. I said ohh ok so now I'm getting silent treatment?? isn't that f'in wonderful he turns and looks at me. Silence. Fine, its only short drive. I crank Adelle. We pull up to work, he opens door starts to get out,,say, I'll call you when I'm ready. I love you. I yelled at him. You didn't want to talk on the way here NOWWW you want to talk to me? too late, we're here now get out. He says I'm not trying to talk I'm just telling you I love you. Yeah whatever I say and drive off. Soooo then I cry all the way home, and in the driveway for another 10 minutes. Come inside mope a bit , Then about 30 min later I was like well this is stupid, you know it had nothing to do w you and was prob just work, and no reason to get sooo worked up. So I sent him an email,, just said I love you too. He replied aww thank you that was so sweet, with smiley faces,,, which idk kinda irked me,, like no apology?? but I'm letting this go I remind myself. ok.
So later we are home and talking and I say You hurt my feelings earlier giving me the silent treatment, and I was upset for a while, but then I decided to let it go..I wasn't going to mention it,, but then I thought well thats dumb,, if I don't tell him, he won't know why,, and we want to improve communication, not stuff,, so I'm telling you. He proceeds to go off about work,, mike this scotty messed up this blah blah, I say why couldnt you just have said this earlier instead of silence?? His response was I was avoiding a fight, I don't want to fight. I say well you didnt avoid a fight, you hurt my feelings. why didn't you say mike blah blah, scotty blah blah. He says because I was mad and I didnt want to get into it, so I avoided the fight. I say again,, you didnot avoid a fight. Telling me what was going on wouldve avoided a fight,,, what avoided this fight was me conciously deciding to not blow up at you. And you hurt my feelings shutting down like that,, like before.


ok here is the cruxt of this long drawn out ramble about ,,,communication of all things,.

I said you really hurt my feelings....
he said I'm sorry I made you mad but blah blah blah I interrupt him
I said you hurt my feelings
he said , yeah I said I'm sorry for making you mad blah blah blah,,,,,I interrupt again
I said " I said you hurt my feeling"
he said yeah I heard you and I said I'm sorry I made you mad blah blahblah,,I interrupt again
i say " H! please listen to me, I said " you hurt my feeling" and you keep saying Im sorry I made you mad,,,, I' didnt say MAD I said hurt feelings , this is what I'm talking about this m/f communication thing,,, you are not hearing what I am saying!!!! repeat after me, you hurt my feelings,,,,,,,,,
,the only thing making me mad now is this conversation, sheesh
then like a light over his head but OOOMMMMGGGGG !!


yeah communication