I find that very interesting and true for me as well. Though throughout his A, his words were all lies, it is still important for me to hear that he is in it. Sometimes the routine of everyday life doesn't feel like much of a commitment, only I habit.
it makes all the difference to me when he verbalize is his continued commitment. I'm not going to sugar coat it. I am demanding. I need a lot in order to continue.and I just can't apologize for it. This is where I am and if he wants to be where I am, then he needs to help me stay.
not trying to fan the flames of your frustration, I am just telling you I think you are very normal. Because, of course, I am sooooo normal. Lol

Interesting I was having a similar thought last night. We were watching couples therapy (a guilty pleasure). There is one coup,s where the girl is inlove but the guy is using her, she is his side dish.

As he revealed that to her in a very disrespectful way she was heartbroken and I wasn't triggered. But what did trigger me slightly was when he tried to let the main dish know he loved her. Up until that point I was proud and said to my H " I must have come pretty far if this hasn't triggered me"

He was out of the room formthenremainder of the episode but I thought, it would be nice to hear him occassionaly reaffirm his commitment to me and appreciation for giving him that chance. He does in his anniversary cards once a year but I would like to hear these words randomly.

Ladies, maybe we can each make a promise (for valentines day) to express these needs to our cs tonight. Not confrontation but just an "I need to hear this from you"

I'm going to have an open discussion tonight.

Have him re-read Linda MacDonalds book and reread it yourself?

I just looked through it and it is as amazing as it was when I read it first. And still as relevant as then,