Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity Community Group
A community for those who have been through the heartbreak of infidelity and decided to stay with their partner and try to re-build the relationship.
The problem with the new layout and with the lack of search capabilities for one's own journal is that I KNOW I have this link somewhere but I can't find it anywhere!! UGH!
Somewhere, there's a lovely (if long) article on "what to do for your spouse after you've cheated". I know there are books and other resources, but this one article summed it up so well. Anyone have a linky for it they can share real quick?
Sadly, I have become the "go to" person for all my friends who've been cheated on. Sigh.
Wish they'd listened BEFORE it happened. :/
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=324250
This was literally the changing point in our marriage - the post that I sent to Huz when everything started turning around. I can literally pinpoint our "surviving" transitioning into "thriving" after this post. (Obviously over time and with a LOT of work...)
Obviously, my husband could have chosen to divorce me at that point, and it would have been his prerogative. Instead, we both chose to slow down on making any decisions about our future. In our case, as the months went on and I was able to get distance from my AP, my addiction to AP went away, my shame became a bit more manageable, I could see everything in perspective again, and I was able to help my husband.
There is naturally a sense of double injustice whenever the subject of a CS who isn't sure about the marriage comes up. I think it is a somewhat common psychological effect for a CS when an affair with an emotional component is uncovered while it is still going on. It might even be more common than the scenario of a CS who drops everything and begs forgiveness and tries to woo the BS right away. It is temporary, though. That's why my 2 cent advice is often just to wait. Get away from the AP and see how you feel in a couple of months.
Discernment counseling was very helpful for us when we did it 4-6 months after D-day.