Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity Community Group
A community for those who have been through the heartbreak of infidelity and decided to stay with their partner and try to re-build the relationship.
So me and my H have been together almost 19 years we have two kids 17 and 10. D-day was 3/1/2015,it's been 3 years of a lot of ups and downs and getting through the A but we have came out A lot stronger and more in love it hasn't been easy by no means because the OW tries to contact my H randomly and it has caused some issues last time she tried was 2 and half months ago with a text. But we have talked about getting married for years and after losing both of my parents last year and all that we have been through we have decided to finally make it legal. My parents always wanted to see us married. I'm really excited and so is he. I just have a concern that of course why get married now after all these years but everything is different we are at a different place in our relationship and feel like we are ready for it. Also the OW is so obsessed with my H I fear she may try to interfere I know it won't work but that is a concern cause we know a lot of mutual people and I know she will find out so I'm just wondering how I should handle that if the situation comes about. Just wonder if anyone had any thoughts or suggestions I don't see many people post though
I have some suggestions. Why doesn’t your husband change his number? OW kept trying to text my hubby and when he changed his number, she even tried contacting him through his work email - at which point he reported the affair to her boss and told her boss to ensure that work emails were for work only. That nipped that in the bud and we never heard from OW again.
We ended up moving 3 hours away so we would never run into or have to see (or in huz’s case, work with) the OW ever again. I don’t regret it for a second. I know that’s not a choice everyone is willing to make, but I am glad we did. We were both able to let go of a lot of baggage in the process and it gave us a fresh start.
In some ways, legally getting married is exactly the fresh start you may need and want. It’ll allow you both the chance to exchange actual promises to one another that are more informed and understanding of what a life long commitment is than when you two were younger. It’ll also help be a platform for discussing what exactly you want your marriage to look like, instead of just letting it be whatever it is.
Best wishes for you both.