Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity Community Group
A community for those who have been through the heartbreak of infidelity and decided to stay with their partner and try to re-build the relationship.
Married to a soldier for 11 years. He cheated after been married for 6 years and even though the road to recovery was hard we came out victorious, more in love than ever, honest with each other. Even though it was the hardest thing I endured it was also "good" for our marriage. Fast forward 3 years later, happy marriage (or so we thought), H goes overseas for a year and comes back all distant, cold, change and denying and affair and saying he never cheated but that he did change and he wasnt happy. After a year struggle, nagging him, questioning him about so call "friendship" with female coworker he came clean and admit to emotional affair, nothing physical happened, they became best friends and spent a lot of time together so they both develop feelings for each other. He finally stop talking to her cause he says he wants to work in our marriage but can't stop thinking about her. To make matters worst he is leaving in a week to go overseas for a year. He says he still loves me but it's confused. After Dday I went on a rage but decided not to let it go, we have been through so much, 3 kids....I just can't let it go. He does treats me with respect, we talk, we laugh, we joke, we are best friends but I don't want to be treated like a best friend, I want to be treated like a wife. He don't say I love you, if I hold his hand hug him or kiss him he don't reject me but he won't start contact. Not as often but we do still enjoy been intimate even though most of the time I'm the one that initiates it. I do feel betrayed,sad, mad, upset, a river of emotions, how can he do this to me again? He don't think he did anything wrong cause he didn't "cheat", he didn't sleep with her, they were "just friends" that develop a bond and emotional connection. He is at home but his heart is not really there. His been having this emotional affair for over a year now but finally admitted and cut off communication with "friend" about a month ago. I want to move forward cause I love my husband, he is a hard working man, love his kids, he is my best friend. I dealt with it once before but he did everything in his hand to show me he love me, he was romantic, caring, loving but this time around his emotional attachment to his other female is completely breaking my heart. How to deal with this everyday and survive day after day?
Have you guys been through counseling yet? I would imagine that these emotional affairs are pretty common in stressful situations and there should be someone who can help him see it's not real and get readjusted. I dated a military guy for awhile and his transition to life at home was always rocky.
You said that he's leaving in a week, so maybe you can talk to a counselor to help you reach him again? This has to be something that the military resources can help you with.