i’m retired, 71, smoked for thirty-five years till I was 50, completely quit till I was 67, then gradually started again shortly after I retired.  For the last year I have been smoking cigarettes for one month — about 15 a day — then no smoking at all for two months.  I’m healthy, my life is pretty easy, have a good marriage, good relationship with my son who is doing well, have friends, not bored.  But when I don’t smoke, I feel a lot of despair.  I’m pretty happy when I smoke.   My friends, with a couple of exceptions, say going off/on like this is crazy.  I don’t think so.  I just can’t stand being feeling bad so much and it just doesn’t go away despite the fact that intellectually I’m ok with myself and my life.  I’d really like feedback from fellow smokers.