So, like last week I went to google to try to figure out why these thought's from the anxiety/PTSD,  So I googled "Why does Anxiety seem so real"  All I got is how to treat it I never got a diffinative annswer.

I have been having so maney thought's that seem so real:

Like, My Friend's Kid's (The one That has the Mentally disabled brother, that I've been going on and on  about........Where does it end?) them telling people they tought me every thing I know,

Them pretending their my teacher's.  I know how kid's like to pretend, But, at their age, they should know better,  Them telling I have homework, And saying:"You can't play guitar untill You earn it  (BEEN DOING IT FOR: IT WILL BE 30 YRS IN 2024)

I tell them I have a learning disability,  But, for whatever reason, music just comes to me,  Like  reading..exct

And i'm riding my bike,  Them telling me what red mean's at a stop light, we stop at a stop sighn, Look both way's before crossing a street, A car is coming, And it's 75-100 yrd's away.....Basicly treating me like a child.

And their father,  (Who my friend did say he was "silly and goofy")  to Me "Silly and goofy"  Mean's childish and immature  Likes to play jokes/pranks on people,  he would rather be a friend to his kid's then a disaplinarian    These people are very passive......They would rather, let things slide, rather then confront someone,  Her brother on the other hand, will confont people  "humoring" him, And was never tought their beliefes......Basicly these people have no "backbone"

I think, They have the Beliefe,  If People talk behind Your  They "PRAY FOR YOUR SOUL" And You might get a speach about hell/damnation. 

And   my mom, has alway's wanted me to play along with all this, And feel will "Through Me Under The Bus" And say I just started playing guitar......So, My friends kids can show/teach me, To make them feel good about themselves,  But, it makes me/other people feel like shit.  I make people feel good about themselves...Cause I want to, not other people tell me to. 

And usually my mother  asks me about stuff like this, like, Have I given any thought to doing this video?

But think she know's that I know about this whole thing  And has been  "super nice" to me Lately 

And Like I said, I asked My Mother about this whole thing, I got a nervous respoce "I don't know what Your saying, THAT WAS 35YRS AGO, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT." Which tells me she know's about this,  I think they told her not to say anything, And ever since then, has been playing along.  I Don't blame my mother for this, I blame these people for this, I think my Mother got wrappped up in all this.

My mother will be the fist one to tell You that I have  "Dry Sence of humor" 

My  friend and her brother, At her wediing....Slow danced to  "Don't worry Be Happy"  By bobby mcfarren,  And You shouldn't worry about thing's,  But people do, and we as humans,  can't control that impulse,  But, he doesn't understand that, That song is just something we have try not to do  (Of course I think that Bobby Mcfarren is from somewhere in the carabbien,  So, they don't typcaly worry over there....I guess)

I don't mean to talk about  people behind their backs, I just need to vent,  And it seem's liike no one else will listen.

I did read one time:  90% of Anxiety WILL NOT HAPPEN,  But, 10% of the time it does (not freak anyone out)