My husband has been struggling with PTSD for the last two years, and while he is currently in treatment it took a LOT to get him there. He spent about 6 months self-destructing in someone else's bed while my kids and I had to sit back and watch. He finally self-destructed down to the point that his command realized he wasn't okay and he ended up on suicide watch for a week while they got him into a month-long stint at a mental health facility. He has been home from that facility for almost a year now and still in treatment but days like today I wonder when should I give up. I feel like I am constantly walking on eggshells.  I recently began sleeping on the couch because it feels better to be alone while feeling alone if that makes any sense to anyone else. This weekend was a drill weekend (where we barely spoke and he slept away from here for convenience sake) immediately followed with a particularly hard EMDR session on Monday, from which he came home and immediately passed out. Then today I get home to find a very drunk husband in bed about to pass out. Just another night on my own. It's only a few bad nights but they are so reminiscent of his behavior and the destructive ways he was attempting to cope before he left and I look at it and wonder why I am still fighting for this relationship.... when he so clearly isn't. I just feel so dang empty and helpless and I just wonder if anyone understands what I am feeling...