my fiancé was just give 96 months, i'm on here searching for something as well. i'm trying to figure out what to wear for a visit. how are you doing?

First of all I am sorry to hear you have joined me in this situation. But I am Happy to try to help, this was all new and very unexpected for me. I never in my life imagined I would be dating someone behind bars. But we were 4 years into our relationship and he didn't do anything terrible. It was a probation violation from a dui. I have found none of these websites helpful. There is another I joined called strong prison wives. It seems like nobody ever would answer my questions. I have had to visit my boyfriend in two locations now both in Ohio. I am sure every prison is different. They all have websites so if you check them out it will help. Dress code is pretty much the same. do not wear white pants/jeans (they consider them to be see through) NO shorts, No skirts unless full length. No SPANDEX, no leggings or jeggings. best bet loose jeans or sweat pants I wear denim capris a lot. Shirts can not be sleeveless, no tank tops, nothing see through, noting low cut. Basically they do not want anything provocative. I had a button up shirt with a tank top under it and had to go take the tank top off and just button up the shirt. and none of the shirts with the shoulders cut out. you can wear some jewelry but you need to be able to pass a metal detector. Oh and no underwire bras. I have some shirts that I keep specifically for my visits because I know if they passed once they should pass again. It also depends a lot on what guard is working that day. some are less particular then others. I do put my hair up and use a couple bobby pins but some may stop you for it. Plan on your pockets being turned inside out and you cant have anything on you but a vending machine card and your drivers license car keys. Also if you wear boots they will make you take them off to pass the metal detector so I wear flip flops or tennis shoes.

The first one I went to in Lorraine ohio, you had to have a quarter to buy a locker to put your keys in, if they do that make sure you take in an extra quarter and put it in the locker. if you have to open the locker for some reason you will need that extra quarter to lock it again. where I go now in Mansfield they do not have lockers. But again nobody told me about the quarter so then I had to go back out to the car to find a quarter. Also you will want to make sure you find out if you have to schedule visits a head of time or if they just have open times you show up.

Here they use vending machine cards, both locations make you have a $5 and the card will cost you $2.00 so that only leaves you $3.00 on the card. You will bring the card with you each time and put more money on it. You will definitely want more then $3.00 on it the first time so bring more then that $5.00 (I wish someone would have told me this) I was only able to buy him a pop my first visit because nobody told me how it worked.

If you call most of the time the guards will tell you if they use vending cards, if they have lockers for your coats, keys etc. Make sure you take your drivers license.

The less you have on you the better!

I know that was a lot of information, let me know if you have anymore questions. And you are not alone!

It's not easy and it cost money to keep them up with phone calls, etc. If you haven't signed up for JPAY I recommend it. But make sure you ask him first if he has access to the machine to get your emails.

Oh my goodness thank you so much, I've only been with him 7 months and he's in for fraud and embezzlement, basically had the book throw at him and was used by the company. so it's a crap situation and i also never saw myself being with someone in jail. thank you for the other site i will look into it. Does a sports bra pass? I saw on BOP website that flipflops are not allowed and that i should wear pants, but no gym clothes. this is all crazy to me, i'm still waiting to even hear if i'm "approved" to visit, since i'm not "family" so basically just think church clothes and no jewelry. we are in ca, and the website said to bring quarters so i will do that and the smallest bag i can. i can't believe im in this situation now.
thank you again!

Your welcome. I never got anything out of the other site either. Seemed mist of them only talked on the forums that you had to pay for, like how to talk sex during your phone calls. Hard thing for me to do knowing the calls are recorded and someone is listening. Also I noticed a lot of the woman had chose to meet someone already incarcerated. Not my situation at all and I wouldn't have ever chose this.

As for the flip flops every institution is different you definitely need to check. The other good advice I did get was always have a set of clothes shoes in the car so you can change if they don't like what you have on.

Also know that if you discuss his case during phone calls, letters, email, or written letters they read and hear it all and it can be used against him.

8 years is a long time for you to wait after a 7 month relationship. Is his sentence eligible for review or probation later?

Im here if you need an ear or a shoulder. I am 8 months into this...it's been a roller coaster and you will go through all kinds of emotions. For me it has been just like grieving a loss.

Oh I forgot to answer you question yes sports bras work as long as they don't have under wire. I had a hard time finding ones that didn't here in oh.

Hello ladies. At least you all get to visit. I met my boyfriend online and we fell in love. I applied for visitation and was declined. The counselor says she can prove that we did not know each other before he was incarcerated. And I cannot apply again for a whole year. I was so crushed when I found this out. But I am always available to chat. I am on facebook too.. I don't really have anyone to talk to about this that can relate. My bf has like 10 years. It gets very hard at times.

I've been doing this bid with my man for 11.5 years. High school boyfriend, went to prison at 18. I am a shoulder to any of you with much experience. He sees parole for the first time next month. If he gets it he'll be home in January! This isnt new to me but sadly I've grown so custom to my inmate that the stress fear and anxiety of him coming home is becoming soo much to bare!