Pregnancy after Stillbirth Community Group
Coping with pregnancy after stillbirth
Hi mamas,
We lost our little girl, Haven, at 38 weeks this February 14. I had an instant, crazy urge to be pregnant again immediately, and it has not let up since then. I have done a LOT of reading about everything related to stillbirth, etc. and I'm conflicted about when to try again. On the one hand, sooo many moms like me go on to have their rainbow babies about a year later (meaning they tried again only months after their loss), but a lot of the research I've read suggests there are risks to not waiting at least 6 months. I'm nervous about additional risks on top of the increased risk we all got stuck with when we lost our babies.
I guess I'm just scared to try again at the 3 month mark, which is what I've been thinking of doing. There are a lot of reasons for this, including my work schedule (which operates on a yearly basis - I want to avoid the really stressful part in May for the sake of my baby and sanity), and the timing would avoid my daughter's dates. My arms are just aching to hold someone.
Can you tell me what kind of advice you got and how you decided to try again when you did? What did you do to prepare mentally and health-wise?
Thank you so much in advance for your replies and/or encouragement. I really need it! :(
We lost our little girl, Haven, at 38 weeks this February 14. I had an instant, crazy urge to be pregnant again immediately, and it has not let up since then. I have done a LOT of reading about everything related to stillbirth, etc. and I'm conflicted about when to try again. On the one hand, sooo many moms like me go on to have their rainbow babies about a year later (meaning they tried again only months after their loss), but a lot of the research I've read suggests there are risks to not waiting at least 6 months. I'm nervous about additional risks on top of the increased risk we all got stuck with when we lost our babies.
I guess I'm just scared to try again at the 3 month mark, which is what I've been thinking of doing. There are a lot of reasons for this, including my work schedule (which operates on a yearly basis - I want to avoid the really stressful part in May for the sake of my baby and sanity), and the timing would avoid my daughter's dates. My arms are just aching to hold someone.
Can you tell me what kind of advice you got and how you decided to try again when you did? What did you do to prepare mentally and health-wise?
Thank you so much in advance for your replies and/or encouragement. I really need it! :(
I mean in the end, you will find what's right for you. Whatever it will be, it will be. Some people say you'll know when you're ready, but I'm not sure about that. I've come to say that you're ready to try again when your hope for a living baby outweighs the fear that it will happen again. It could happen, there's no guarantees in life - but you're willing to take that chance to hold a living baby in your arms. Does that make any sense? I remember reading a book early on that said something like "You have want to be pregnant with a baby, not with your last baby. Because it won't be the one that died". Paraphrased. So when you feel like you'd be happy being pregnant with someone other than Haven, that you' be happy to hold someone other than Haven, maybe that's a sign that you're ready. Good luck!
Angela